


Creep

by Meh_forget_it



Series: Master of Death 'Verse [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural
Genre: Blasphemy, Insanity, M/M, Master of Death!Harry, OOC behaviour, Rough Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 02:44:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meh_forget_it/pseuds/Meh_forget_it
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lucifer went to Carthage to raise Death, he did not expect to meet Death's new Master.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Lucifer felt the rising power that signified that he was very close to achieving his goal and shot a glance over his shoulder to where he had thrown Dean Winchester, only to scowl when he saw that they had gone. Meaning that his brother, Castiel, had also escaped.

Turing his attention back to where Death would rise, he smirked, eyes coolly glancing over the dead bodies of the demons, smirk widening when a bolt of lightning hit the ground inches in front of him, leaving behind a strong smell of ozone and a short, frail-looking figure.

Once the dust and soil that had been thrown up from the force of the lightning hitting the ground, had settled, Lucifer felt confusion run though him, though didn't show any on his face, as he saw the figure properly.

The man had pale, almost waxen, skin and had dark black hair hanging limply around his face in tangled loose curls. He was short, standing at about five foot eight, tops, and was wearing a long black robe that practically dwarfed his frail body and billowed on the floor around his feet, making Lucifer wonder if the robe actually belonged to the man, who was most certainly  _not_  Death. Lucifer also took note that showing from out of the too long sleeves was a strange wooden stick in the figure's right hand, and a curved blade, similar to Death's scythe but couldn't be the actual blade of Death, held in the figures left hand.

Lucifer shifted and allowed a frown to show on his face as a sign of his displeasure, his moving had caught the attention of the man in front of him, who had been staring at the ground since his arrival. Lucifer felt his body involuntarily freeze for a few nanoseconds when piercing forest green eyes locked on to his own and a black eyebrow rose in a silent question.

"What do you need from the Master of Death?"

* * *

When Harry had first started his hunt for all three Deathly Hallows, he hadn't given a thought to the consequences that owning all three might bring. All he knew was that he had to find them before Voldemort got his hands on them. That was the only thought that crossed his mind. In hindsight, he should have given a thought as to  _why_  Voldemort wanted all three, as opposed to just the wand. But then, Harry never was well known for thinking things through before doing them.

After he had defeated Voldemort, he had tried to move on with his life. His friends all thought he had been playing dead, they didn't realise that he actually  _had_  been dead for a brief moment in time. And Harry, if he was honest, had no intention of ever telling them that fact. He knew they would be happier thinking otherwise. He had shuddered at what Molly Weasley's reaction to the truth may have been.

So he kept silent, and he carried on with his life as he intended it. Well, as everyone around him intended for him to live it. Deep down, Harry knew something was different,  _wrong_  with him but he forcefully shoved it to the back of his mind and refused to contemplate what it might be.

It was when he was waiting on the platform to get the train to Hogwarts for his final year there, watching Hermione and Ron bicker, though without any actual heat in their words. He then glanced to his side at where Ginny was standing next to him, laughing at something Luna had said, that he got some idea of what was wrong.

He didn't belong.

He didn't know how or why he didn't belong, just a deep down, gut feeling that he didn't belong with these people. His second realisation came almost immediately after. He didn't feel anything for them. In fact, he didn't feel anything  _at all_.

Harry thought this realisation should have startled him, scared him even. But it just clarified things. He didn't feel anything. Nothing. He didn't feel any affection for his two best friends arguing in front of him like he had before. He didn't feel amusement like he used to at their arguments. And he definitely didn't feel love or even lust towards Ginny, like he should. Or like everyone indicated that he should.

The only emotion he actually felt was confusion. Slight confusion as to when he had stopped feeling anything for anyone or thing around him. He glanced down at the ring on his hand, letting a slight frown mar his pale face. When  _had_  he gone back to retrieve that particular Hallow? He had no memory of ever going back into the forest to get it back.

"-ry? Harry!" Harry jerked and dragged his eyes from his ring to look at Ginny in question. He tried to force himself into feeling something for the woman in front of him, but was just left with a faint lingering feel of frustration. "Harry, will you answer me?"

"Sorry, what did you say? I was away with the fairies for a second there," Harry told her, blinking slowly. He had the strange sensation of himself going in slow motion whilst the rest of the world went about at normal speeds.

"I asked you if you were intending to try for the Quidditch team. This is your last year after all. You wouldn't want to miss out on that, would you?" Ginny asked, and Harry felt a spark of annoyance at her voice flash through him, before it disappeared, leaving him blank once more.

"No. No, I don't think I will. I think I'll just focus on my NEWTs." Harry said, wondering if how long his voice had sounded so… strange. Detached almost. And if he was possibly the only one that could hear it.

"You don't want to play Quidditch? But Harry, it's your last year! Possibly your last chance to play at all," Ginny told him, looking at him in shock and Harry just shrugged.

"I need to focus on my studies. I got behind in the year I didn't attend," Harry explained to her, and then grabbed his trunk and moved to get on the train as soon as it arrived into the platform.

* * *

It was just before Christmas in his final year at Hogwarts, that the next realisation came to him. He had been too focused on studying everything he could to try and catch up, and also learn whatever he could that wasn't on the curriculum, to notice. However, the last week of school before the holidays, where Harry had turned down Molly's offer of joining them for Christmas, Harry was walking down the halls of the draughty school, making his way back to the dorms before curfew was up, when he passed the Fat Friar.

Harry murmured a soft greeting under his breath as he passed the ghost, then stopped in a brief moment of shock when the ghost bowed his head slightly in respect the carried on walking through the wall.

Harry stared at the wall for a moment, puzzled, before he just turned back around and carried on walking back to the dorms. He put the incident to the back of his mind, explaining it away as an odd, one off, occurrence and fell asleep. When he woke up the next morning, he had forgotten all about it.

Until it happened again the next time he passed a ghost in the halls when he was alone. And again. Harry realised that, for the first time in a long while, he was feeling an emotion for longer than a split second. In fact, he was in an almost perpetual state of confusion.

It was six days later, on Christmas Eve, after having been bowed to by a ghost on no less than eighteen separate occasions that Harry decided to look into it. He was the only one in the castle this year, bar a few teachers. All the other students had wanted to spend the first Christmas after Voldemort's defeat with family, so Harry was safe and free to do whatever he wanted and look up whatever he wished in the library.

He trawled through the different sections, trying to see if any book called out to him, or if he spotted any that looked like it may help him find an answer. He found himself in a dusty, unused section of the library and dragged his fingers along the spines of the books on the shelves, absently reading over them and quickly rejecting them. He had gotten halfway down the aisle when one title caught his eyes. It was on the different myths and legends of the wizarding world.

Given that the wizarding world was a living myth in the eyes of most muggles, Harry pulled the book off the shelf in a brief spate of curiosity, wondering what possible myths people who  _knew_  dragons were real, could actually have and walked over to the one table under the window in this row.

He sat down at the table and started to flick through the book, making the occasional noise of slight surprise over some things that really  _didn't_  exist, either in this world or the muggle one and spent a good half an hour pondering over why the wizarding world thought potassium was a myth. Until he came across one section that made him freeze and his breath to catch in his throat.

The Deathly Hallows.

Harry frowned and then turned the page and started to read the information that the book had on the three supposed mythological items. Absently, as he read, his finger rubbed over the ring on his opposite hand, whilst the hand with the ring on, gripped a certain wand tighter.

It was that Christmas that everything changed for Harry as he finally realised the consequences to owning all three items. He found out why he had the ring, even though he had no memory of going back to fetch it, and he found out why the ghosts revered him.

By the start of the next term, Harry Potter had withdrawn from Hogwarts without telling anyone bar the Headmistress, and had left England without informing anyone of where he was going.

* * *

For the next few years, Harry wandered around Europe and parts of Asia, just taking in the different cultures, learning different types of magic, and trying to get his head around the fact that he was no longer truly considered human. He funded his travels with the money in his vault, then, when that ran out, by conning people and pick-pocketing. It wasn't like he was going to feel any guilt over it.

Which led to his unfortunate and untimely demise three years after he had left England, and two weeks before his twenty-second birthday. In a back alley in Paris, Harry stole from the wrong person and was too tired to do anything but gasp in shock when a knife was pushed into his side.

His killer let his body drop to the floor, pausing only to take what little money Harry had on him (which belonged to the man in the first place) and then kick him in the stomach, before he ran from the alley and Harry felt his vision fade and  _heard_  his heart stop.

So imagine his surprise, if only for a second, when he opened his eyes some time later, gasping and sucking in oxygen into his starved lungs, and weakly pushing himself into a sitting position. His side ached a little, and his shirt was ruined by the bloodstain, but other than that, when he checked, he saw no injury or, indeed, any sign of injury having ever occurred.

It was after he had checked his side, that the pair of shoes just in front of him caught his attention, or, more importantly, the person in those shoes. Harry trailed his eyes slowly up the body and let his eyes come to a stop on an older looking man, wearing a black pinstripe suit, with cold eyes and a silver ring on his right hand.

"About time you chose to die. I couldn't come to you until you died. Rules and all. The reapers were beginning to get antsy. Silly creatures." The man stated, not taking his eyes off of Harry, who just settled into feeling confusion once more. It, seemingly, being the only emotion he could feel for any meaningful length of time.

"I'm sorry, what?" Harry asked, shakily getting up and standing in front of the man, who was taller than him by a couple of inches.

"I am Death, the Horseman. And you are Harry Potter, current holder of all three of the Hallows. Only living person to have been accepted by all three. And perhaps most importantly, my master." The man, Death, said with a respectful bow of his head, leaving Harry feeling somewhat baffled.

"Your master?"

"Yes."

"And I should be dead." Harry stated calmly, frowning slightly before his face smoothed of all emotion once more.

"No. You died. You came back. It's a perk of the job. We all have it. We die, we get killed, hanged, stabbed, blown up, we'll just heal and come back. We don't die. Permanently at least." The man told him and Harry just nodded his head, feeling the normal feeling of numbness coming back, replacing the confusion he had been feeling. It was pleasantly familiar in a very unfamiliar situation.

"Oh. Right. So what do I have to do, being your Master?" Harry asked, once any trace of emotion had left his body, looking at the man in front of him blankly.

"Nothing. If I should have need of you, then I will know where to find you. You have… released me from my temporary jail with your death. The other three do not have masters, but they are trapped. I should count myself to be lucky."

"Sure, if you want." Harry said, feeling tired and wondering just how long he had been technically dead for.

"Do you have any orders for me? Anything I am not allowed to do. Anyone I'm not allowed to kill?" Death asked him and Harry paused, mulling over the question before shrugging.

"I have a question."

"Of course. What would you like to know?"

"Can you take me to Japan? Haven't been able to afford the plane fair to get there yet and I've wanted to go to Hong Kong." Harry said, looking at the man in front of him, who looked stunned at the question and then somewhat perplexed.

"Hong Kong is in China."

"Is it? Well… I've been to China quite often. No one told me I was in Hong Kong. How rude. Well, can you take me to Japan anyway?" Harry asked, after he had pouted slightly, and looked at Death with wide, green eyes.

"I can."

"Brilliant. In that case, take me to Japan, then you can do whatever the hell you wish to do, kill whoever you wish to kill for a whole month. Then I would like you to come back and find me to take me somewhere else. Sound fair?"

"You have no restrictions?" Death asked him suspiciously.

"No killing kittens. I like kittens. Frogs too. Should we be going? If so, can we pop into my room at the local hostel and grab my bag. It has a spare change of clothes." Harry said, ignoring the shocked look that Death was giving him.

"That is all you wish to ban me from killing before their time is up? Kittens and frogs?"

"Yes. There are a lot of both in the world if you think about it. Actually, widen it to amphibians and serpents. That should leave you with enough other species to kill still. Unless you  _want_  to kill kittens and frogs. If that is the case, then we may have to have a discussion." Harry said in a cold voice that actually made Death look at him warily.

"You need to change your attire." Death told him, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder and taking them to Harry's hostel room, where Harry grabbed his bag and looked at Death with a raised eyebrow.

"And why is that?"

"You will need to wear the cloak, you should have all three Hallows on you at all time. It will tell everyone that matters who you are and will stop certain upstart beings from starting something they have no chance of finishing."

"That would mean I walk around invisible  _all_  the time. It would be awkward and not in the least bit practical." Harry told him, frowning when Death tugged his bag from his hands and reached in it, pulling out the silky cloak.

"If you wish to be seen, then you will be seen." Death assured him and handed the cloak over to Harry, who glanced at him suspiciously, then shrugged and draped it over his shoulders, shocked when his body wasn't invisible.

"No offence, because I know you were the genius behind the whole thing, but can I transfigure it into something else?" Harry asked him, looking down at the cloak that still draped along the floor, being a good five inches too long for him and still the same, strange, silvery material.

"You cannot, but I can." Death told him, and then placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and took them to a city that Harry had never been to before. Judging by the signs and people running around, he guessed he was somewhere in Japan. Or China - given he clearly didn't know the difference. 

Harry jerked in slight shocked when he looked down at himself and saw that his cloak was now robes and they were jet black. He wrinkled his nose however when he saw that the length was still the same, and that translated over to his sleeves also being ridiculously long.

"Ah, thanks then. See you in a month. Remember, no kittens, amphibians or reptiles." Harry told Death, before he turned away and walked down the street, not bothering to look behind him to see if Death had left him.

* * *

With the help of Death, Harry managed to travel to more countries, but most of the time always ended up going back to Europe for at least six months of the year. He enjoyed wandering around and learning of different cultures, and learnt that he could feel some emotions. Only strong ones and they never lasted long. Confusion remaining the only emotion that lasted for any noticeable length of time. It was with this realisation that he learnt he was also one scary fucker when truly angry.

And he often got quite angered over the length of his robes, normally when he tripped over them, or trapped them in a door and got strangled. His anger was normally taken out of the nearest person to him, or the poor sap that had helped him get out of the door trap.

So, Harry spent the next seven years quite content to just travel, occasionally calling Death to take the soul of someone who annoyed him or hurt a kitten, and then carried on his way. He would learn new spells or potions occasionally, but mostly he just met new people and releasing any frustrations he let build up over time in various different ways.

Therefore, he was quite surprised, when wandering through the streets of Minsk, cloak dragging along behind him and getting soaked by the snow on the ground, when the hairs on the back of his neck rose and made him stop mid-step and look around him.

As the wind began to pick up, whipping his now fairly long and limp hair around his head, Harry let his wand slip in to his hand. He then pulled his miniature, hand-held scythe, which Death had given him after realising just how much trouble Harry could get into just by existing, from his belt and held it in his other hand.

Therefore, he was quite prepared when he got whisked away from Minsk and appeared in a completely different place with an accompanying bolt of lightning. Harry was secretly impressed with that, added to the sense of drama. He found he rather liked a bit of drama.

Someone shifting in front of him made him look up from where he had been looking at his bare feet, wiggling his toes in the ground, and locked eyes with a tall man that radiated power but also looked like he was ill.

"What do you need from the Master of Death?" Harry asked the man, using his official voice, which actually made him sound like he had lost his voice. He also had to urge to eat a strepsil when he used it.

Harry took a slow step forward, smiling at the feel of dewy grass under his feet and then looking up at the man in front of him once there was barely an inch between them.

"Where is the Horseman?"

"You wish for Death? I am his Master, he listens to me," Harry told him a little more forcefully, narrowing his eyes at the man in front of him and wondering just who he was.

"I have called all the Horsemen forth."

"You're starting an Apocalypse? And you wish for my servant's help in this?" Harry asked the man, who seemed to be getting frustrated that Harry wasn't obeying his every wish.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No," Harry admitted with a slight tilt of his head, and he held back a grin when the man took a step back in shock and looked at Harry in confusion.

"I'm Lucifer," the man, Lucifer, told him, in a voice that indicated that Harry  _should_  know who he was.

"Hello, Lucifer. I'm Harry, the Master over Death, and until you show me why you wish to destroy this planet, my servant will not help you," Harry informed him politely, blinking blankly when Lucifer actually gaped at him.

"You haven't heard of me? At all?"

"No."

"Have you heard of Satan?"

"The evil guy in Christian beliefs? I've heard of him."

"That's me."

"Oh, well, that's nice for you. I'm still not helping you until you tell me why you are doing this."

"I want this world and the pathetic creatures that inhabit it to burn."

"Oh well, in that case. Have at them," Harry said sarcastically, sneering at the man in front of him.

"You would do well not to anger me further," Lucifer told him, glowering at Harry, who just crossed his arms over his chest, making sure to flash the two weapons to remind Lucifer he wasn't completely harmless.

"You are not the first holy figure I have met, nor will you be the last. You think your religion is the only one on this planet? You think the only opposition you will have is from whoever the hell the good guys of Christianity are? There are hundreds of Gods, Goddesses and religious beings out there that will oppose your plans."

"So you are saying you refuse to help me? You have made up your mind?" Lucifer asked him and Harry cocked his head to the side and looked at him closely.

"No. I said I would listen to why you are doing this. I think there is another reason other than the one you gave me. So I will stick around. Watch what you do. Try to find out what it is you wish for my servant to do. And to make sure you don't hurt kittens."

"Ki – So you are willing to give me a chance?" Lucifer asked, having clearly decided not to bother asking about the kitten remark.

"I am. So can I call you Luci?"

"No."

"Huh. Lucifer it is then. Where are we by the way?"


	2. Chapter Two

 

"So, this is America. Land of the… wait… what is it land of again? Brave and Free? Is it brave and free? Or is it something else. Oh, Scotland, is that the free place. Guy with the blue face, he screamed about freedom and shit." Harry muttered as he followed behind Lucifer, not noticing that Lucifer's eyes were black and his jaw was clenched.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Lucifer told him through gritted teeth and Harry looked up to stare at the back of Lucifer's head.

"Really? Where have you been for the last century or so? I was trapped in the wizarding world for quite a while, yet I still know about it. Come on, have you been living under a rock for the past hundred or so years?" Harry stated dully, as he looked away and glanced at the buildings they were passing, letting his eyes pass over some hellhounds in disinterest.

"I've been trapped in a cage in the bowels of Hell for several millennia," Lucifer told him blankly and Harry paused for a second and looked at Lucifer's back, feeling a brief wave of shock before it left.

"Huh. Well that sucks. Still, rather Hell than Wizarding Britain. Terrible place. No frogs and considering the amount of witches walking around, there is a shocking lack of kittens. And they don't like snakes either. Terrible place," Harry muttered again, and then walked into Lucifer's chest, given the man had stopped and turned to look at him, looking completely bewildered.

"You are very odd," Lucifer finally said, after Harry squeaked and looked up at him, looking a little shocked for a few seconds before the blank look came back over his face.

"So some say. I'm not the one trying to destroy their father's creation just because he didn't get the last cookie however, so really, you shouldn't be casting any stones," Harry pointed out, stepping around Lucifer and carrying on, before he stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Where are we going, by the way?"

"Away from here. My vessel has left, and Death never came, but they are of the belief he did. We shall move on," Lucifer told him and Harry nodded his head and allowed Lucifer to pass him.

"How are we leaving here? My servant has a very nifty car in America somewhere… I bought him new license plates for it. Actually, what's the date?"

"I believe it is the seventeenth of January. Why do you wish to know?" Lucifer asked him and Harry wrinkled his nose and crossed his eyes as he thought, then shrugged.

"If we stay here for a few hours longer, then my servant will be by to pick me up and take me to my next destination anyway," Harry commented, then cursed as a gust of wind blew his robes and made them tangle around his legs, tripping him up. "I'm having a word with that freaking slave."

"Why do you not shorten your robes?" Lucifer asked, having turned around at Harry's curse and seen the trouble the Master of Death had gotten into.

"You think it's that easy? You fucking try, moron!" Harry hissed, feeling anger course through him as he tried to detangle his legs.

"I am not a seamstress." Lucifer told him and Harry growled at him, then yelped and patted his side, making Lucifer glance at him suspiciously. "What are you doing?"

"The Lambada! What the fuck do you think I'm doing? Are you going to fucking help me, or are you going to stand there and stare like the knob-gobbler that you are? Fucking wanker," Harry muttered, patting his side once more and then continuing to chunter under his breath as he unwrapped the cloak from around his legs.

"I do not understand why you do not shorten it."

"I don't understand why you don't shut the fuck up. What, making up all that time you were silent trapped in Hell? And tell your mangy mutt to stop looking at me like I'm a fecking rare steak, before I conjure up a cork and shove it up its arse." Harry spat, relishing in the feeling of anger coursing through his veins in a rare moment of feeling emotion.

"He is not my dog," Lucifer stated bluntly, and Harry sighed as he was finally released from his robes and then turned to stare at the hellhound that was drooling and looking at him.

Harry sneered at the dog and then conjured a rather large cork in his hands, raising at eyebrow at the dog, he then shot a pointed look at the cork in his hands. The hellhound stared at him for a few seconds, then stepped back, tail between its legs and whimpering slightly.

"Damn straight. Don't mess with Death, Bitch. You'll never win," Harry muttered, then sighed as he felt all emotion slowly leave him like a bath with no plug. "I'm in need of a drink. Where's the corner shop?"

"Are you… taking something?" Lucifer questioned him warily, and Harry turned to look at him with a blank face.

"No. Becoming Master of Death is like ODing on Lithium. Saps you of all emotion except strong bursts every now and then. I'd find it annoying if I could feel annoyance. Corner shop?"

"There are no shops on corners," Lucifer stated and Harry sucked on his teeth for a few seconds and then nodded.

"General store? Somewhere I can buy a bottle of water. And by 'buy' I mean 'steal'," Harry asked and Lucifer frowned in thought and then glanced back at the destroyed buildings.

"I believe that crater over there was the general store," Lucifer said, nodding his head in the direction of a large space that looked like some sort of bomb had gone off. Harry wrinkled his nose and sighed.

"Wonder which poor reaper had the fun task of piecing the bits of those souls together. Oh good, they took out some dogs with them. Ah, hope they have a fun after life, whichever religion they may follow. Though they could have saved me a bottle of water."

"For someone who does not feel any emotion, you do talk a lot," Lucifer pointed out and Harry just shrugged and moved into step beside Lucifer.

"You don't need to feel emotion to speak, you know? Emotion is not a requirement of speech," Harry pointed out, then glanced up at Lucifer. "I need a pair of heels."

"Pardon?"

"Never mind. So we just have to wait here for Derek to turn up and we'll be golden."

"Who is Derek?" Lucifer asked him and Harry turned to grin at him, making Lucifer immediately regret having asked.

"Death."

"Death is called Derek? Death does not have a name," Lucifer stated, and even Harry could hear the confusion in his voice.

"Yes, well, going around chatting to a bloke you called Death was never the most inconspicuous thing to do. So… Derek," Harry said with finality and ignored the somewhat suffering sigh that Lucifer gave from beside him.

"You are Hell, aren't you? I have not escaped, this is just a new punishment that has been thought up by someone. A reaper that cannot shut up," Lucifer said and Harry felt a flash of indignation before it fizzled out once again.

"I'll have you know that I am not a reaper, thank you very much. I am their master's master, which makes me their… uber master!" Harry told him blandly, and Lucifer just sighed once more.

"Some times I find that I do not know what you are talking about," Lucifer told him and Harry just shrugged.

"Uber, it means super or awesome or amazing or mega or something in German. They had German when you were thrown into the pit, right? Wait, it changed, didn't it? There's like, old German and modern German. Hang on. How old  _are_  you?" Harry asked him, looking at him closely as he moved to lean against a slightly crumbly wall.

"Old. Possibly not as old as you. Death came long before we did," Lucifer admitted and then noticed Harry's scandalised expression.

"How old do you think I am? I'm only twenty-nine!" Harry exclaimed, and then pouted, though his eyes seemed to be emotionless, telling Lucifer that the strange creature's vexation didn't last for very long.

"How did someone so young, find themselves to be Master of Death?" Lucifer enquired and Harry just shrugged and looked away from him.

"Different ways. You think I'm going to tell you? You want to burn this world and everything in it, to the ground. My being Master of Death is the only thing that ensures I will survive whatever happens. So no, I won't be telling you," Harry told him vaguely, not looking at Lucifer and thus not seeing the anger flash in his eyes before he hid it.

"I suppose that is understandable then. You should know, I  _will_  find out how. And when I do, I won't allow you to hinder me anymore," Lucifer warned him and Harry scoffed at him and turned to look away from him, to where a pale green, almost cream, Cadillac was driving towards them.

"Ah, here he is. Right on time, too. Death's never late, after all. Would be bad business." Harry commented, pushing off of the wall and walking past Lucifer to greet his servant.

"Master, what are you doing here? I left you in Belarus last month. I had assumed you would still be there. When I sensed you in America, I was quite surprised," Death said in a low voice as he stepped out of the car and bowed his head at Harry, then held open a pizza box. "The pizza in this country is better than anywhere else."

"Even Italy?" Harry asked him, taking a slice of the cheese and tomato pizza and taking a bite, humming in pleasure. "Oh no, you're right, this is nice."

"Exactly. Master… why is Lucifer standing behind you?" Death asked, looking past Harry to where Lucifer was standing and watching them.

"Oh, he wants to take over the world, burn everyone to the ground and dance in the ashes. But he needs your help in that. No idea why. I've told him that I won't let you go out to play until I'm sure the big kids won't bully you," Harry told his servant, serious tone belying the light hearted wording.

"And you feel no compulsion to follow his orders?" Death asked Harry in a quiet voice, which Lucifer couldn't hear.

"No. And Death can only have one master. That's me. Derek, you may need your ring. Take it. Keep it safe, you know what to do with it. Make sure it doesn't get into the wrong hands. Understand me?" Harry asked Death, taking a gold ring with a black stone in it, off of his finger and handing it to a shocked Death.

"Of course, Master," Death said, dipping his head and then placing the ring on his own finger, next to the finger holding another ring.

"Good, so, you know Luci _fer_? Good to know, introductions aren't needed. They always have bored me a little. Did you stop that kitten farm in Essex? And did you teach their souls a lesson they aren't likely to forget in a hurry?" Harry asked at a normal volume, ignoring the feeling of Lucifer's eyes boring into his back.

"Their reincarnations will never be cruel to a cat ever again. The kittens have been distributed to loving families, as asked and I also stopped a woman from running over a family of frogs. You should be warned, your past life is searching for you. They have noticed the strange goings on in this world and are concerned that it may soon affect them," Death told Harry, who wrinkled his nose and squinted one eye before shrugging.

"Had better make sure that they don't find me then, hadn't we. Why do they not believe I am dead?" Harry asked, looking confused, and glancing over his shoulder when Lucifer moved to walk up to them.

"I am not sure. Perhaps you can point Lucifer towards his first victims," Death suggested and Harry wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"That wouldn't be very nice, would it? They haven't done anything to me. It's not like they actively searched me out in the time I've been gone. No, we should leave them alone. Soon they will have enough problems of their own to realistically be able to search for a dead man," Harry told Death, whilst Lucifer just watched the two in silence.

"As you wish, Master. If you have summoned my Master, and by association, myself. Does that mean my brothers are now out as well?" Death asked, looking at Lucifer, whilst Harry kept silent, watching the two.

"It does. I regret to inform you that War has lost his ring and powers, however he did begin the apocalypse, the path has been set," Lucifer told him and Death sighed and looked at Harry, who glanced back at him and nodded.

"I shall take you to where you wish to go and then I will leave and search out my brothers. War will not have long left and only my Master or myself can take his soul," Death told them and Harry sighed and looked up at the sky.

"I don't know where we should go. Lucifer?" Harry asked, tilting his head to the side and looking at Lucifer out of the corner of his eyes.

"I do not mind. Where would you like to go? You say you have never been here before, and I have been travelling around since I was released," Lucifer informed him and Harry hummed to himself and shut one eye in thought once more, before he smirked and opened it once more.

"Vegas. I want to go to Vegas. I've heard it's fun," Harry said with a shrug and Death nodded his head.

"And I will be taking Lucifer with you as well?"

"Yeah, gotta see if his endeavours are worth our time, after all. So far? They're really not. You've got no plans, no idea on what to do next and seem to think you have time to go frolic around in Vegas. You're not exactly putting on a professional front, Luci," Harry commented and then stepped up to stand next to Death, narrowing his eyes at the fallen angel when Lucifer snarled wordlessly.

"You presume to know my plans?"

"No, but you are going to have to share them with me if you wish for our aid in this, and even  _I_  know that you need  _four_  horsemen for this Apocalypse shindig to really get kicking. The other three don't have masters, so they're stuck with you. Death is the main man, however. The big cheese. You  _need_  us. We don't need you. Don't piss me off, Lucifer. You won't like the outcome."

"Do you know who I am? What I can do? I can end you, you and all of my fathers beloved creations!" Lucifer hissed and Death glanced at the two and then took a step away.

"I  _own_  Death! You think the man that owns Death, controls  _Death_ , can be killed easily? For the biggest bad known to Christianity, you sure are naïve. Put your damn dummy back in, tell me your plans and I will decide whether you are worth our time or not," Harry hissed, robes whipping around his ankles as he glared at Lucifer. The fallen angel sneered at him and turned his head away.

"I will tell you of some of my plans, and together, we will find my true vessel," Lucifer told him and Harry raised an eyebrow but kept his mouth shut. "You can help me get him to agree to allowing me to use him."

"Why would I do that? What's wrong with the body you're currently using? Besides the whole… rotting thing you've got going on. I believe getting him to say yes to you is your job. I have not agreed to help you at all. I will join you in finding them however, it will give me a chance to see who you are fighting against."

"The angels will not accept you."

"Angels? Like the new age, hippy crap? Do they wear white dresses and have actual halos?"

"We do not have halos."

" _You're_  an angel? Well that's a disappointment. Sure, you're easy on the eyes, but… where're the wings?" Harry asked and Lucifer just glared at him, making Harry sigh and turn back to look at Death. "So, Vegas?"

* * *

"I wish to meet with your vessel soon," Harry commented lightly as he and Lucifer wandered past Las Vegas' many casinos, Lucifer sneering at the passing humans, whilst Harry just remained unfeeling towards everyone.

"How do I know that you will not betray me?" Lucifer asked him coolly and Harry rolled his eyes, ignoring the stares his trailing robes and bare feet got him from tourists.

"What is there to betray? Death cannot betray anyone, for it has no allegiances to anyone. Just as Death cannot  _be_  betrayed," Harry told him flatly, and let his eyes pass over the bright lights and laughing, drunken mortals, completely unaware of who was passing them.

"I do not feel comfortable with you meeting my vessel. I do not trust you just yet," Lucifer told him and Harry shrugged.

"Then go it alone without the horsemen. To be quite honest, I think this whole Apocalypse tata that you've got going on is pointless anyway. What will it get you?" Harry asked, glancing to the side of Lucifer, who was staring ahead of him.

"Revenge. And then I will make this planet my own paradise," Lucifer told him and Harry chuckled dryly and waved his hand negligently in front of him.

"One man's utopia is another man's dystopia. Who is to say what you view as paradise, is what everyone else sees?" Harry asked, head snapping to the side and eyes narrowing on a passing couple. Harry reached out his hand and gently let it trace over the woman's arm before turning back to Lucifer as though nothing had happened.

"What did you just do?"

"Hmm?" Harry asked, eyes trailing listlessly over random people passing him by.

"To that woman. You trailed your hand over her arm. Why?" Lucifer asked him, calm tone sounding a little forced.

"I marked them. A nearby reaper will sense that and take their souls. They deserve it. They ran over a cat last week and kicked the body to the side of the road," Harry told him simply and Lucifer looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"What is your fascination with cats?" Lucifer asked him and Harry shrugged.

"Don't know. They look down on everyone, to them everyone is below them, not just a few people here and there. Even their owners are only worthy of their time because they feed them. I like that."

"Everyone is below me," Lucifer pointed out and Harry snorted.

"Boy, you look down on me and I'll kick your ass right back into that box of yours. You ain't no cat," Harry told him with a sneer, which only lasted mere seconds.

"What plans do you have?" Lucifer asked him after they had been walking in silence for a few minutes, Harry occasionally reaching out to brush against someone, or dip his hands into someone's pockets or bag.

"Ah ah, we're here to discuss your plans, not mine. My plans are my own. It's part of my… contract. I don't share my plans with anyone. No matter how important they deem themselves to be," Harry told him casually.

"Contract? With who?"

"Whom. And that would be telling. You don't really believe that your God is the be all and end all, do you? What about all those other lovely religions out there? What about the people who don't follow a religion, or make their own up. Though why anyone would make an alien their God, I have yet to work out. Scientologists creep me out," Harry muttered, eyeing a passing man warily. "Actually,  _all_  religions disturb me a little. Who would want to put their own fate in the hands of an invisible man or woman in the sky?"

"But I am proof that there is a God. You, yourself, have told me that you have met other gods and religious beings. So what is not to believe?" Lucifer asked him, growling at a poor teen that had ran into him. Harry snickered and then ran his hand over the teens arm when he helped him up off the ground. Harry then winked at Lucifer and carried on walking.

"I never said anything about believing, I just do not wish to leave my future in the hands of beings I do not know or trust. That, however, is a moot point now. Death doesn't have a future. It doesn't have a past. It just is," Harry stated and titled his head back to look at the darkening sky, Lucifer just glanced over at him, looking contemplative.

"You sound shockingly accepting of having no future," Lucifer pointed out and Harry shrugged awkwardly, head still right back.

"I think that's why we can't feel anything. When you can't feel anything, you can't panic over what is happening. You lose your ability to feel emotions before you work out what you are, normally."

"So there have been other Masters? There is a way to get rid of you?"

"Good try, Luci. No, I'm the only one. Others have tried though, and failed. It was thought to be a myth amongst my people. Apparently it's not," Harry said with a mirthless laugh.

"It would seem not. I will admit, I never knew of a Master of Death. I was quite shocked when you appeared instead of Death," Lucifer admitted and Harry chuckled quietly.

"I can imagine. I was quite shocked myself, actually. No one ever said I could be summoned. Guess I should read your religion's book. Check what it is I'm missing out on. Don't wanna bump into one of the main characters and not know who they are again," Harry said with a wide grin and Lucifer just sighed and glanced skyward. "If you hate him, he's not gonna listen to your prayers to get rid of me."

"I'm asking for patience."

"Still not going to get it."

* * *

Harry glanced over at where Lucifer was talking to someone, possibly a demon, Harry wasn't all too sure on the specifics and hierarchy of Hell, and didn't actually care. The point was that Lucifer had other things on his mind and wasn't paying Harry any attention.

Harry smirked and walked into the one room in their suite, closing the door shut behind him. He then walked over to the darkest corner and sucked on his right index finger, before dragging the wet digit down the wall.

"Derek," Harry whispered and took a step back from the wall, grinning when Death stepped through the shadows and tilted his head at him in silent question. "Is it secret? Is it safe?"

"I wish you would tell me the name of the person who introduced you to Lord of the Rings and Discworld." Death told him, giving an exasperated sigh when Harry just smirked at him.

"Why would I do that? You'd just try to take their soul and they're one of the only people I receive solstice presents off of," Harry informed him, then frowned and tapped at his side, as though in thought.

"You called for me?"

"Yes, we need to go speak to someone about this whole Apocalypse shindig. Need to see what they truly think is going on. We both know he is savvy and has ears everywhere. Chances are, he's been expecting us," Harry informed Death, who nodded his head and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Is he still with you?"

"He is. Let's go. I don't know how long we have. I'll be missed soon enough," Harry informed Death, who nodded and took them both back into the shadows and out of the room.

* * *

Harry stepped out of the shadows just in front of Death and glanced around the opulent room he had stepped out in. He whistled lowly and then chuckled when the man sitting at the desk jerked and looked over at him.

"Well, well, I 'ad wondered if I'd be seeing you two again. A master and his bitch. Come to finally smack my 'and?" The man asked, standing up form his desk and walking over to them, Harry smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Now, now, Crowley. That's no way to treat one of the few people who can end your existence, is it?" Harry asked, looking at the King of the Crossroads with muted amusement.

"Sorry. I've been a little… jumpy, since this whole Apocalypse thing started. You know how it is." Crowley stated, turning swiftly on his heel and motioning for Harry to follow behind him. "Notice you're still wearin' that cloak. Still don't want the number to my tailor?"

"And end up looking like you? We'd be giving people the wrong impression about the British if I did that," Harry told him, following Crowley through the halls of his large house and into a sitting room. Harry then took a seat in the chair Crowley motioned to, and noticed Death moved to stand behind him.

"You don't want people thinking the British are style savvy and well-dressed?" Crowley asked, pouring them both a brandy and handing one glass over to Harry, before moving to sit in the seat opposite him.

"You mean stuffy and uptight? No."

"So you would rather them think we are scruffy and short, with no idea what shoes are?" Crowley asked with a pointed glance at Harry's bare feet.

"No, I prefer unique. And shoes are restricting. I can't feel the souls of the earth when I'm wearing them. You know that, Crowley. By the way, should I be calling you King, since Lilith has kicked the bucket now and all?"

"Did you ever call her 'queen'?"

"Never met her."

"Ah. In which case, yes, yes you should refer to me as either King Crowley or Your Majesty, whichever you feel more comfortable with. You should bow to me as well. And shower me with – actually, I've seen your idea of gifts, just bowing is fine," Crowley told him, with an air of distaste, making Harry smirk at him.

"I'm Death, we don't do bowing," Harry informed him and then his eyes lit up in mischief, making Crowley eye him warily. "What does –"

"If you value your manly parts, I wouldn't finish that sentence. So what are you really here for? We both know that Brits don't  _actually_  partake in tea and crumpets, and I don't know about you, but I've never had a cucumber sandwich in my life," Crowley told him, sipping his brandy but never taking his eyes off of Harry.

"Business call. You knew we would be coming. We need to know what  _you_  know about this whole Apocalypse thing. How do you think it is going to end? And more importantly, in whose favour? Who do  _you_  think we should be backing?" Harry asked and Crowley exhaled heavily, before locking eyes with Harry.

"Your pet, there, is an 'orseman, 'Arry. For this whole thing to really get star'ed, he's got to join in the welcome parade. You still not read the Bible? I told you it was a good read. Full of angst, death, twists and turns. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry. More to the point though, it'll give a clue as to what Old Nick is planning," Crowley told him, and Harry eyed him and then nodded his head.

"Okay. I'll give it a read. Before you tell us everything, and I do mean everything, you well dressed Del Boy of Hell, I have something I need to inform you," Harry told him, ignoring Crowley's insulted look at the name.

"Go on. And does that make you Rodney?"

"Call me Rodney and I'll castrate your favourite Hellhound. Here's the deal, Crowley, I know how much you like them," Harry said, standing up from his seat and walking to stand in front of Crowley, who just watched him with amusement in his eyes.

"Well, I  _am_  a Crossroads Demon, Love."

"Indeed, and here's the deal. You stay out of this war. Don't help either side. Stop contact with the Winchester's and yes, I do know about that, you're not the only one with ears everywhere."

"And if I do that? What's in it for me? If old Luci wins, you know I'll be the first to be gone."

"What I've given you already, isn't enough? Fine, I'll ensure, that no matter who wins this war,  _you_  will survive it. And I control Death, no one dies if I don't want them to," Harry told him and Crowley narrowed his eyes and then nodded.

"Alright, I'll take a strategic retreat then. I won't help either side and  _you_  will ensure that  _I_  survive this," Crowley told him and Harry smirked at him, then leant down and pressed a kiss to Crowley's lips.

"You have a deal," Harry told him once he pulled back, licking his lips with a smirk, whilst Crowley just looked amused. Harry then walked back to his seat and sat down, looking at Crowley closely. "Now, tell us  _everything_  you have learnt of this war. Don't leave anything out, Crowley, I'll know if you do."

* * *

Death and Harry returned back to Lucifer a few hours later, to find that Lucifer had finished making whatever plans he had been talking about with the demons, and was waiting for them.

Harry ignored most of the fallen angel's questions and only gave vague answers to the ones he did reply to, making Lucifer growl at him in frustration and then drop it. They spent a month travelling to different places in America, occasionally with the aid of Death, sometimes without, but Harry still did not learn the true intentions of Lucifer, and it was beginning to annoy him, just the slightest of bits. He was actually surprised they lasted a month before their unanswered questions finally made them snap.

"That robe you wear, you don't wear anything else other than those trousers and that shirt. Even those, you change occasionally. Normally when I complain about the smell…" Lucifer commented and Harry rolled his eyes, knowing where he was going with this and tugging his robes further around him, remaining curled up in his comfortable chair, reading the copy of the Bible he had 'borrowed' from the nearby cathedral.

"Yes, yes… My hygiene is occasionally brought into question. Is there a point to this? I was just getting to a good bit."

"You're reading the Bible," Lucifer pointed out dryly, and Harry glanced at him and shrugged.

"Your point?"

"It's not a work of fiction," Lucifer told him, and Harry snorted and looked at him incredulously.

"You're telling me that a whale, which can only swallow something the size of a watermelon, swallowed a man… who survived that, might I add, and then beached itself, and this man, who was retarded enough to get swallowed by a whale in the first place, had a whole new look on life and decided to be good?" Harry asked him, looking completely unimpressed, whilst Lucifer just gaped at him.

"Possibly not that part."

"And the flood that wiped out everything on the world, bar a man and his family, who also managed to make this amazing arc that fit all the animals of the world on it? And these animals didn't eat one another? Come on! If you're going to try and make it so that it seems realistic… at least make it believable!" Harry stated with a wrinkle of his nose, making Lucifer sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose.

"You were sent to me to torment me, weren't you?"

"All I'm saying is, if this huge flood wiped out nearly all of mankind… there would have been a record of it somewhere…"

"Not if everyone was wiped out." Lucifer pointed out and Harry narrowed his eyes at him and huffed.

"So what? This Noah bloke… he's the starting point of every human on this earth? What about the ones that aren't human? The veela, werewolves, vampires, fairies… what about them? What, did he save two of those as well? And don't even get me started on Moses."

"What could you possibly have against Moses?"

"Who  _names_  their child that, to start with? And… it's not plausible. He was a slave! And then just magically does all this shit… and in a book that harps on about witchcraft being bad and all that wank, no one burnt this bloke at the stake? He made water separate! What, that was normal practice in those days?"

"I… Tell me why you are so attached to that robe." Lucifer demanded and Harry sneered at him and ignored the question.

"And why, when AD is all fancy and Latin, is BC boring and… unLatin."

"UnLatin is not a word. Answer my question."

"How would you know? You don't even know who Granny Weatherwax is. For all you know, unLatin is a word now," Harry pointed out, and Lucifer growled and stormed over, snatching the book off of Harry's lap and throwing it to the floor. "Hey!"

"Answer my questions!" Lucifer hissed, grabbing the collar of Harry's robes and dragging him to stand in front of him.

"I like it. It belonged to my father. It's all I have that was his, alright? So I can't feel anything, doesn't mean I can't have a need for mementoes. I've left everything else behind, except my wand and this cloak," Harry told him, gripping onto Lucifer's wrists to keep his balance.

"And a ring."

"What?"

"You gave your servant a ring. I did not hear what you said about it, but he looked to treasure it," Lucifer pointed out and Harry stared at him before he chuckled.

"That? That belongs to Derek. He leant it to me for a while, helps me to get new reapers to listen to me. I was just giving it back to him. The newest reaper knows not to mess with me now," Harry told him, moving his hands from Lucifer's wrists and placing them on the man's chest instead, pushing against him gently. "Let me go, Lucifer."

"Tell me how you became Master of Death."

"So that you can kill me? Oh yes, brilliant idea. It isn't going to happen. Now, let me go," Harry said through clenched teeth and Lucifer sneered at him and let go of his robes, making Harry lose his balance and grab onto Lucifer's shirt to regain it.

"I will find out. And when I—" Harry sighed explosively and then surged forward, stopping Lucifer mid sentence by kissing him on the mouth. Harry moved a hand to wrap around Lucifer's neck, deepening the kiss and groaning when Lucifer pulled him closer, gripping his hips tight enough to bruise.

"You going to shut up and release some stress? Or do I need to go out and find someone else to take my frustrations out on?" Harry asked him once he had pulled away, and Lucifer sneered at him.

"You won't need to find someone else," Lucifer informed him and Harry smirked at him, before he trailed his hands across Lucifer's shoulders and slowly began to unbutton his shirt.

"Good. And the robe stays on, by the way," Harry informed him, then deftly undid the rest of the buttons and pushed Lucifer's shirt off of his shoulders. Harry then glanced up at Lucifer, who was just watching him, and moved his hands down to undo Lucifer's trousers, pushing them down his hips. "No kecks? Get you, going commando."

"I will not question you if you promise to be quiet for the rest of the night," Lucifer snarled at him as he stepped out of his trousers, finally moving and grabbing Harry's shoulders and turning him to slam him against the wall.

"You have a deal, and I do enjoy making deals," Harry told him, gasping when Lucifer yanked his trousers down and Harry kicked them away just as Lucifer stepped to stand between his legs. Harry grinned at him and then pressed his lips to Lucifer's once more, opening his mouth and moaning when Lucifer thrust his tongue in, and began to forcefully map out Harry's mouth. Harry groaned and wrapped an arm around Lucifer's neck, when Lucifer lifted him and made him wrap his legs around his waist, causing their erections to brush.

Harry arched into Lucifer and grabbed Lucifer's right hand with his free hand, and pulled back slightly, muttering something, then gasping and throwing his head back when Lucifer growled and dipped his head to nip at his neck. Harry soon felt Lucifer move his hand to begin to prepare him with the lube Harry had conjured and immediately thrust two fingers into him, causing Harry to jerk and cry out, revelling in the feeling of lust coursing through his veins from the stimulation.

It wasn't soon after that Lucifer removed his fingers and then shifted and thrust into Harry forcefully, whilst biting on Harry's neck, making Harry yell out in mixed pain and pleasure. Harry shifted and arched against Lucifer, tightening his legs around Lucifer's hips as Lucifer tightly gripped his hips and began to thrust into him vigorously. Harry moaned at the pained pleasure he was feeling, and tugged at Lucifer's hair, pulling the man away from his neck and moving to bite at Lucifer's bottom lip.

Lucifer growled and tightened his hold on Harry's hips, as his thrusts became faster and deeper, then pressed his lips to Harry's so hard that Harry tasted blood from where his lips were cut by his teeth. Harry whined in the back of his throat, feeling the pleasure building up at each thrust and removed his hand from Lucifer's hair to wrap his hand around his own, neglected penis.

Harry pulled away from Lucifer's lips and let his head fall back against the wall as he began to feel his climax rise up from his toes and closed his eyes, crying out as his orgasm crashed through him. He stiffened and arched against Lucifer, who quickened his own thrusts, before grunting his own release and leant against Harry, pinning him to the wall as they both tried to regain their breath.

When Harry began to get the feeling in his limbs back, he fidgeted against Lucifer to make him move and hissed when Lucifer pulled out of him and let his legs drop back to the floor. Harry waved his hand, cleaning them both up and then bent down to pick up and pull on his trousers.

"You were good. We should do that again sometime. Now, I need to go see a man about a dog. Speak to you later, Sweetie-Pie," Harry told Lucifer, who had grabbed his own trousers whilst Harry was sorting himself out.

"At least you do not expect to hug," Lucifer sneered and Harry smirked at him.

"Do I strike you as someone that likes to cuddle?" Harry asked him, and frowned as he patted his pockets and then looked around the room in confusion. "Where is –"

"I don't care," Lucifer said, looking a little wild-eyed as he shot a suspicious glanced to the corner of the room.

"Whatever, I'll be back when I'm back. Don't wait up and have dinner on the table for when I'm back, Woman!" Harry told him, smirking when Lucifer growled at him, then stepping back into the shadows and disappearing from the room.

"If he can do it himself, why does he insist on making myself or Death take him everywhere?" Lucifer asked aloud, not getting, but not expecting, an answer and then sighing and turning to leave the room.


	3. Chapter Three

Harry hummed in false cheer as he jauntily walked down a street in New York. Anyone watching him would have just assumed he was a somewhat eccentrically dressed man happily strolling down the street. Of course, he was bare-foot, which isn't advised at the best of times, and even less so in New York.

What they wouldn't have been able to tell, just from glancing at him, was that he was completely void of emotion, was randomly marking the souls of certain people he passed, and was masking his presence from being found by Lucifer. Who was quite probably, at this point in time, tearing his vessel's hair out in frustration.

Or hiding from Harry's… pet.

The point was, however, that Harry was alone and he was heading towards a meeting with his servant. Walking into the road without looking either way, he crossed the street, ignoring the loud blaring of horns, and entered the Burger King, shooting a look over his shoulder at the large Spiderman on the side of a building over the road and making a note to find out why.

He weaved through the scattered patrons of the fast food place and headed for where he could sense his servant. He smiled widely, though his eyes showed no emotion, and took the seat opposite Death.

"Derek," Harry greeted with a nod, and Death nodded back.

"Master."

"Kinky. Not sure it's the most suitable greeting in public though. Maybe we should change it," Harry pondered, then paused and tapped at his chin whilst Death just watched him silently. "Or, we could just meet up in some random fetish bar. I do rather like collars."

"I do not believe that the master wears the collar. It's the slave that does that," Derek pointed out calmly, making a woman passing their table stumble slightly, before she hurried up her step, blush adorning her face.

"Really? Damn. Crowley would have known a good place to get a good quality collar. It's the kind of thing he knows," Harry said almost absently, before he blinked and his gaze cleared once more, pinning Death with a sharp glance. "So how have preparations gone?"

"The Crossroads King is aware of his position in this war, you made sure of that. And you know that he will be loyal to you, if not anyone else. Any who fear their own death would show loyalty to the one person that can prevent said death. That is you."

"Right, right, Crowley and I are BFFs, good to know. I  _was_ there for that, Derek. When I enquire about preparations, the implication was there that I meant the ones I don't know of," Harry pointed out lightly, no heat behind his words, but Death still flinched minutely all the same.

"Sorry, Sir. I have contacted everyone you told me to. They shared their thoughts on this war with me, for me to then pass on to you."

"Oh?" Harry asked, grabbing a portion of fries from a passing customer and popping one in his mouth.

"Most will follow you in your decision in this. There are a few that have chosen their side, no matter where you go," Death informed him, whilst Harry nodded and carried on munching on the fries.

"Right, what about—"

"When he is not flitting from place to place he has said that he will help Crowley with his tasks. You knew he would follow you in this. He fears you more than Crowley."

"They don't fear me. They..." Harry paused as he tried to find the right word. "Respect me. And possibly fear me a little."

"Exactly. When do you wish to further proceedings?" Death asked Harry, watching as Harry started to squeeze the potato out of the fries and began to sculpt the mush on the table.

"Have we not already started?" Harry asked, feeling a flash of genuine confusion, his favourite emotion, and looking up from his sculpture of an angry potato Lucifer to look at Death in confusion.

"We have?"

"Derek… we sort of suck at forward thinking," Harry deadpanned, looking back down at his sculpture.

"So it would seem. I'll inform them all then to be ready for your decision."

"I've made my decision. Well… I will have by the end of the month," Harry added as an after thought, picking up his, shockingly exact potato Satan, and looking up from it to Death.

"It's the thirtieth. The month ends at midnight."

"It already has ended in England. Beside the point. I know where I stand in this war."

"And?"

"It's not the end of the month yet, Derek. I didn't say which month, either," Harry informed him lightly, then bit the head off his potato sculpture and grinned at Death.

* * *

Harry watched Lucifer pace the room with narrowed eyes, before he sighed and let his head fall backwards and looked at the ceiling. He couldn't help but wonder if Voldemort spent most of his 'Grr, die, Muggles, die' plotting in a sparse room, pacing and seemingly doing fuck all. It would explain a lot if that were the case.

He was willing to bet that, even if that had been the case, Voldemort didn't quite have the same intensely evil aura to him that Lucifer has. Voldemort just gave a sense of crazy to anyone near him. Actually, Harry considered, whenever he was in Voldemort's presence (once he ignored the fact his skull was splitting open), all he left Harry with was indigestion. It was quite inconvenient. Harry never seemed to have milk on him whenever he found himself bumping into Voldemort. And the Wizarding world looked at him strangely when he asked for some Tums. Harry suspected that it was all the crazy that gave him away.

"How crazy  _is_  a box of frogs? I mean, where did that saying come from anyway?" Harry asked suddenly, making Lucifer pause in his pacing and to turn to look at him in confusion. The three demons in the room also stopping what they were doing, just to gape at Harry in disbelief. "What?"

"I do not know what you are talking about," Lucifer finally told him after they had all stared at him in silence for a good ten minutes.

"Mad as a box of frogs. The saying. I don't get it. Unless they mean mad as in pissed off. In which case, if I were those frogs and I'd been forced into a box with several other frogs, then yeah, I'd be pissed as well. But crazy mad? I don't get it," Harry said, nose wrinkling to show his confusion.

"Perhaps someone like you put them in there and then proceeded to talk to them incessantly without ever letting them out. It would drive me mad," Lucifer stated dryly, still looking at him, sneer in place.

"Were there frogs in your box? Did they seem mad? Your box thing in Hell, I mean. Did they?" Harry asked, ignoring Lucifer's conclusion, and then ignoring the scandalised looks the demons sent him.

"I'm still not convinced I'm not out of it. You seem to be worse than several millennia in Hell," Lucifer told him and one of the demons snorted, before it could cover it.

"You should go to Disneyland. That'd make Hell look like a nice holiday home. Why anyone would willingly dress up at a giant mouse wear red shorts and white gloves is beyond my comprehension. Red shorts  _and_  white gloves? At least make the gloves red," Harry muttered, and Lucifer blinked at him blankly, whilst the demons discreetly took a step away from the insane Master.

"And once more, I have no idea what you are talking about. Please desist in this senseless chatter, I'm trying to consider our next plan of action."

" _Our_? Where did the plural come into that? I still haven't decided if this whole 'burn the world' shindig is entirely worth the effort. Nor have you stated that the kittens and frogs of the world will be safe," Harry pointed out in a cold voice, raising an eyebrow and losing the false sense of cheer that he had previously been giving out.

"You have no choice in the matter. The Apocalypse has begun. You will allow your slave to do as he is supposed to and that is that."

"Who says?"

"It is written."

"Oh Gods, not that bloody Bible thing again. That book also implies that eating shrimp is a sure fire way to go to Hell. In fact, the whole thing comes across like it was written by a vaguely autistic child and everyone around them believed them. 'No! No! No! No eating shrimp on Tuesdays. It's a sin.' 'Ooh! Deep.' Load of wank," Harry said, imitating the voices of the people he deemed had created the Bible and once more ignoring the stunned looks everyone, Lucifer included, was sending him.

"You levels of blasphemy astound me."

"You're Lucifer. From what I can gather, you blaspheme just by merely existing, so excuse me if I take what you say with a pinch of salt," Harry said, then tilted his head in thought, before sending a positively evil grin at the nervous demons in the room. "I'd better not use the salt against you, eh?"

"Master Death, do not anger me," Lucifer told him absently, making Harry wink at the demons before turning back to blink at Lucifer lazily.

"We've covered this already.  _You_  are the one that would be wise not to cross  _me_. I have nothing the fear from you," Harry told him bluntly, buffing his nails against his cloak and then looking at them speculatively. "Now, I know what we are going to do next in this pithy little war you have going on."

"Oh? Please, enlighten me," Lucifer drawled, and even without looking up, Harry knew the man was sneering. It sent a brief shot of amusement through Harry when he determined that Snape's sneer was more intimidating than Satan's. He wasn't entirely too sure what that said about his former professor. Probably nothing good.

"Yes, you are going to take me to the… Winchester's? Your other possible vessel and his brother. I wish to see what they are doing in all of this. Find out what the other side is doing in preparation," Harry informed him, feeling the heat of the glare Lucifer was shooting him and shrugging it off nonchalantly.

"No. Besides, the angels are the other side of the war. The Winchester's are just accessories of a fact," Lucifer informed him, and then glared when Harry snorted derisively.

"No, the angel's are the same side of the war as you, they just have slightly differing end results in mind. The end product for the occupants of this planet is the same however. Death to peasants and kittens. So no, the angels are not the people I need to be seeking out to find out the other side of this war. The Winchesters are the ones. The human side of things. The side that does not wish for the eradication of all living things. If you wish to win this war, you need to start seeing them as the side to defeat. Concentrate too much on the angels, and the real people you should have been looking out for will sneak in and throttle you with your halo."

"I do not have a halo."

"I know, you missed a trick with that one. Then again, think of the costs in Brasso that you'd have to shell out. They'd make an awesome reading light though," Harry muttered, still looking at his nails. He then paused and looked up at Lucifer with piercing eyes. "So? Shall we go hunter hunting?"

"If that is what will convince you to aid me in this, then that is what we will have to do, clearly," Lucifer said in a slightly defeated tone, making Harry smirk at him. Harry then wrinkled his nose and rolled onto his stomach on the couch, hanging his head off the side and looking underneath it.

"Have you seen—"

"No," Lucifer said sharply, and Harry snickered at the hint of panic he detected in Lucifer's voice.

* * *

Death appeared next to Harry, keeping in step with him as Harry walked a few steps behind Lucifer, mentally wondering where they were going, and wondering if he could take a holiday to somewhere in Africa. He rather liked Egypt the last time he was there, maybe he could pop over for a few days. Wasn't like the Apocalypse was going to happen without him. And he honestly believed that no one was actually going to notice if it was pushed back a week or so.

"Derek. Any reason you have searched me out?" Harry asked, glancing out the corner of his eye at his servant walking beside him.

"A message from… a reaper," Death informed him, handing over a small piece of folded paper, which Harry took with a raised eyebrow and then placed in his voluminous robes without reading, much to Lucifer's consternation.

"Hmm. Every thing going okay? Kittens okay? That vigilante frog group in Australia still going strong?" Harry asked blandly, smirking slightly when Lucifer actually stumbled slightly, before turning to look at him.

"Vigilante frog group?" He asked him, with a small hint of incredulity in his voice. Harry just glanced at him dismissively and nodded before looking back at Derek with a raised eyebrow.

"They are still going strong. And everything else seems to be in order. I have been informed that other countries have started to notice the strange happenings in this one, however that is nothing too concerning," Death informed him, and Harry nodded his head, ignoring the fact that he knew Lucifer was glaring at them.

"Well, nothing we can really do about that. Ooh! Weather sprites! Can we have a weather sprite? I've always wanted one," Harry said, sounding excited for all of a second before his voice once more became emotionless.

"They do not like you," Death pointed out, getting a barely audible huff from Harry.

"Minor technicality. Fine. Bugger them. They don't have long before species extinction anyway," Harry muttered, digging into his robes and pulling a small lime green notebook out and flipping through it. "Twenty years tops by my reckoning."

"You have a book that informs you of when each creature will become extinct?" Lucifer asked him, sounding very interested and scowling when Harry sneered at him and quickly shoved the notebook back in his robes.

"Nope. It was an illusion," Harry informed him sharply, grinning when Lucifer growled at him. "Where are we going?"

"You wished to see the… Winchesters," Lucifer said, sneering as he said the name and Harry snorted. "I am going to a demon that can tell us where they are."

"Why?"

"I cannot sense them, the angel with them made them untraceable to myself and all other angels."

"Huh. But why?"

"Because I can't find them myself," Lucifer repeated through gritted teeth, and Harry blinked at him and tilted his head to the side, limp hair flipping over his face.

"Okay, fine. But—"

"Because I can't! Are you truly this dim-witted? Can you not understand a simple sentence? How have you survived this long without accidentally falling down a pothole?" Lucifer yelled at him, glaring at a wide-eyed Harry and Death.

"He has fallen down a pothole. He cannot stay dead. He's fallen down a pothole three times actually. Always the same one."

"Hey! It moves around! I swear!" Harry cried out, defending himself.

"Of course it does, Master. Lord Lucifer, what I believe my master is trying to tell you however, is that no one can truly hide from Death. We can find the Winchesters, should you wish us to do so," Death informed Lucifer, whilst Harry muttered under his breath as he seemingly burrowed into his cloak.

"If he can find them, why did he ask me where they were?" Lucifer asked in a forced calm voice. Harry looked up from whatever it was he was doing and frowned.

"I didn't."

"Yes. You. Did."

"No. I really didn't. I said we were going to the Winchesters. To be quite honest, I didn't give you a choice in the matter. But I also didn't say you would have to find them," Harry told him calmly, before once more going back to looking in his robes.

"You told me that I was to take you to them."

"Exactly. I didn't imply you would be doing to searching. I just wished for you to do all the boring work and take me there. I can't be bothered. So, where are we?"

"Illinois."

"Huh. Well the Winchester's are in South Dakota. Is that nearby?" Harry asked, voice muffled by his robes. Death sighed a put upon sigh and threw a somewhat sympathetic glance at Lucifer before he disappeared.

"Not really."

"Oh, that's a bugger. Ah! Found you! Shall we go then?"

* * *

They appeared in front of a surprised Sam, Dean and Castiel, making the former two shout out in surprise, whilst Castiel remained silent but eyed them all warily. Harry glanced at the three in front of him and then turned his head slightly to look at Lucifer.

"So which one is... The Vessel?" Harry asked in a suitably dramatic voice and flailey arms. Sam, Dean, Castiel and Lucifer all turned to gape at him, before Lucifer sighed in a suffering manner, realising why Death hadn't followed them here.

"Samuel Winchester is my true vessel," Lucifer said, clearly wanting to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. The three that were not used to Harry's more random moments just gaped at them, clearly not understanding that being in the presence of one Master of Death makes even Lucifer slowly begin to give in to the human feeling of frustration.

"Who are you?" Dean demanded and Harry turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I am the Overlord of Death, Grand Master of all life and protector of kittens! I like frogs, toads, snakes and salamanders too. Kill any, and I will kill you. Slowly," Harry added, whilst Lucifer just shook his head and walked off, and Castiel, Dean and Sam continued to gape.

"Death has a master?" Sam finally asked and Harry nodded absently, whilst he began to search inside his voluminous robes and made a small sound of triumph, pulling a tiny white kitten out.

Harry then tilted his head and looked at the Winchester's whilst he scritched behind the white kitten's ear, getting a low rumbling purr for his efforts.

"This is Death of Cats," Harry told them, ignoring the frustrated sigh from Lucifer behind him, and the choked snort of mirth from Sam. Instead he focused on Dean, who just looked like he had fallen asleep and was now trapped in a nightmare that didn't want to end. "It also goes by Cordelia."

"Cats have a Death?" Dean finally asked, whilst Castiel just blinked and looked even more perplexed than he normally did.

"All animals die, Dean. I just anthropomorphised the death of cats. It can get lonely sometimes and even Death likes kittens. Plus, I wanted a pet," Harry added as an after thought.

"Is the Death of Rats around?" Sam asked, sounding as though he had truly tried to keep the question in. The blush on his face when Dean turned to look at him incredulously backed that up.

"Oh. He's around somewhere. Before you ask, there is no Susan. Which is a shame," Harry admitted with a sigh, before his face lost all traces of emotion once more.

"Master Death, this is not why we are here," Lucifer hissed through gritted teeth, glowering at Harry, who looked completely unaffected, even whilst Dean, Sam and Castiel all warily eyed Lucifer.

"I was getting to know your vessel. I prefer the one you're already in by the way. Sam's got... all that hair. Look at it. It's everywhere. And he's tall too. Ridiculously tall. I'm surprised he doesn't get nosebleeds or altitude sickness. I know I am just looking at him," Harry said, making Dean snicker, despite the situation, whilst Sam flushed and looked upwards as though asking for the earth to open up and swallow him. "Don't you be laughing, Dean, what with your bandy legs and freakishly out of proportion torso. No, Luci..  _fer_ , stick with Nick."

"We can't stay here for long, Master Death," Lucifer reminded him through gritted teeth, making Harry grin toothily with absolutely no emotion shining behind his eyes, and making the three in front of him flinch back slightly.

"Wait! I read that nifty little book thing of yours, which is better fantasy than some of the crap wizards come up with. Muggles do fantasy way better, which is surprising given wizards live it... Maybe that's why," Harry pondered and all four of the other men looked utterly perplexed at his muttering.

"What book? What are you talking about, Master Death?" Lucifer asked him, still gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw.

"You know, the main character is er... Jesu? Jesus? Giles? That one. Me and Death are in it. We get to make zombies! All 'braaaains' and stuff! Don't be taking my fun, boy!" Harry said, narrowing his eyes at Lucifer, who actually looked like he might start crying from frustration, much to the shock of Dean and Castiel. Sam just looked like he knew exactly how Lucifer was feeling.

"You're... You're not what I expected someone on Lucifer's side to be like," Dean finally admitted after they had all stood there silently. The two humans trying desperately to find something to say, Castiel just looking at Lucifer like he was hoping his older brother would step in and stick up for him from the crazy kid and Lucifer just silently wishing he was back in the box. No Apocalypse was worth this, surely.

"Who said I was on  _his_  side? I have yet to decide where to put my backing. If I even will. Ridiculous thing if you ask me. Not that anyone has, I note," Harry commented, nuzzling his nose against 'Cordelia's' head.

"You're not... Then why are you... I'm lost," Sam admitted, scratching the back of his head and looking over at Dean, who looked just as, if not even more, confused.

"I came here to meet the other side. I wanted to know what I would be helping destroy should I help Lucifer," Harry informed him simply and all three men opposite looked at him with wide eyes, before casting a somewhat fearful look at Lucifer behind him.

"Have you... Has it... Um..." Sam looked like he was struggling to find the right way to word his question, and Harry smiled, taking pity on him.

"If you're asking if I've made up my mind, then the answer is perhaps. Now, Cordelia needs to leave us, she has a father to appease and a kingdom to inherit. I think myself and Lucifer should take our leave as well," Harry told them with a glint in his eye, making all four beings with him eye him warily, whilst 'Cordelia' purred even louder.

"Yes, let us get out of here before one of them thinks it is a bright idea to try and shoot me again. It may not kill me but it  _does_ annoys me," Lucifer muttered, scowling at Dean, who had the common sense to flinch back.

"I still don't… I mean… Why cats?" Sam asked, looking just as shocked as Dean and Castiel at the question. "I'm not sure that's what I meant to ask."

"Cats give me comfort and companionship. As for what you really wanted to ask. I can't, in good conscience, allow Luci— _fer_  to destroy a entire planet without first finding out the opinion of the ones of the other side of the disagreement," Harry admitted, Dean and Sam both wondering how anyone could call the Apocalypse a  _disagreement_.

"And you've made up your mind now?" Sam asked him, whilst Dean just shook his head and glanced at Castiel, wondering if the strange being in front of them had actually managed to kill what little sense Castiel had to begin with.

"Sometimes I think that I have. Then again, sometimes I think I knew from the start. But, I  _did_  come here for a reason, I suppose. I shouldn't allow just my own impressions to cloud my judgement. So tell me, why  _are_  you fighting? Why not just lie down and accept what seems to be inevitable. You could say… ineffable, even," Harry stated, and only Sam seemed to understand the reference, judging by the twitch of his lips.

"Ineff—Dude, what the hell?"

"Look, it's in that little book thing, which, by the way, I can totally understand why it's one of the biggest selling books of all time. It's thrilling. I seriously do not understand why I hadn't come across it before," Harry muttered, tapping the index finger of his free hand against his bottom lip.

"It's not a story," Lucifer told him with a forced calm that shocked even himself. Especially when it remained and stopped him from trying to slaughter all that stood in front of him when Harry just shrugged his shoulders uncaringly. Castiel made a small noise of distressed disbelief, then took a step nearer to Sam and Dean.

"Mmhmm, you know my opinion on that one. So instead, why won't one of you tell me why you insist on fighting for your lives and the lives of millions of people that you don't even know. Millions of murderers, rapists, paedophiles, megalomaniacs, thieves and politicians. Why save them? They don't strike me as being something worth dying for," Harry asked, looking at each of them sharply as he waited for their answer.

"Not every human is evil. For every one person that comes under what you just described, you will find four pure-hearted humans," Castiel informed him. Harry titled his head and narrowed his eyes at the angel in contemplation.

"Okay…" Harry finally said, drawing the word out as his gaze left Castiel's and moved on to Sam, then Dean. "But what about you two? Wings over there was brainwashed into loving his father's creations. You two though… you have the most wonderful gift of Free Will. The  _real_  reason for this war and the war that started this. Why are you two fighting this, when you have the option to just sit back and allow the inevitable to happen?"

"We can't. We've lived our entire lives killing the things that threaten to kill the very people we are trying to save now. If we give up now, then all of that seems… pointless," Sam said at exactly the same time Dean said:

"Because it's our fault."

"Oh now. That  _is_  interesting. I accept Dean's answer a lot more than I accept Sam's. Thank you, I think that's all I need to hear," Harry told them, smirking at Dean, who closed his eyes in horror. Sam and Castiel just gaped at the other hunter in shock.

"You… You've decided?" Dean asked him almost inaudibly, eyes still clenched shut.

"I think I may have, yes. But something may change when travelling from here back to where we came from. Who knows? Only Fate and Destiny can truly know what will happen in the end. And they're bitches," Harry said with a shrug and Dean snorted, then froze when he found he had an armful of crazy death guy, eyes finally snapping open in shock. "Keep your brother close. The end is looming," Harry whispered in his ear, then pulled back.

"Dude… you… I… Am I dead? Am I going to die now?  _Now?_ " Dean asked in an embarrassingly high-pitched voice.

"No, you aren't going to die just this moment. You'll be meeting Tessa when it is your time though. She has called dibs on your soul," Harry told him, and Dean paled even more and gaped at him.

"Reapers call  _dibs_  on  _souls_?"

"Of course they do. Living forever with the sole purpose of sending others onto their next life can get dull without some sort of perk to the job. We allow them to take the soul on whoever they either have a grudge on or are intrigued by,"Harry told him lightly, waving his hand negligently at nothing.

"And… Tessa… I need a drink," Dean muttered, and Harry smirked when he heard Lucifer mutter his agreement behind him.

"Well we will be leaving now, so you can pickle your liver all you like. Before we leave, you might be interested to know… I've decided to call dibs on Sam's soul. It looks… interesting," Harry told them with a tilt of his head, before he, the cat and Lucifer all vanished, leaving Dean, Sam and Castiel to just gape at where they had been.

"I have no idea what just happened," Dean finally admitted to the two next to him. Sam just made a strangled noise of agreement, clearly still trying to process that Death's Master had apparently taken an interest in him (or his soul at least), whilst Castiel actually sighed and shook his head.

"I think I feel sorry for my brother," Castiel finally said, sounding confused about the admission and looking at Dean for some sort of reassurance. He didn't get any.

"Dude, what the hell  _was_  that?" Dean asked, still staring at the spot that the strange trio had been before they left them.

"I—We need to get to Bobby," Sam finally said, and Castiel nodded, placing his hands on a shoulder of each brother, whisking them to Bobby's house.

* * *

Harry glanced over at Death, who was standing by the door in the rooms he and Lucifer had commandeered in a hotel somewhere in mid-America. Harry wasn't sure, but he thought they might be in Kansas. He vaguely recalled sniggering before informing them that he never liked Toto. So Kansas would make sense.

"You have decided then?" Death asked him, and Harry narrowed his eyes at him, glancing over at where Lucifer was seemingly scowling at nothing, nursing a bottle of whisky.

"I think I might have, yes," Harry admitted, getting a sharp look from Lucifer when he didn't elaborate on that.

"And you wish for me to inform everyone of that decision?" Death asked him, both beings of death ignoring the annoyed growl coming from Lucifer.

"You should."

"Are you going to share with me your decision?" Lucifer asked him, annoyance clear in his voice.

"I think I need one more thing to make a final decision. You will be one of the first to know when I have. Do not worry about that," Harry informed him, whilst Death just tilted his head and then nodded.

"I think I shall leave and speak with a few of the others," Death informed them, and Harry nodded to him, before pulling Cordelia from his robes. He then stepped up to stand in front of Death and placed the kitten in Death's hand.

"Take Cordelia to it's next destination. There is still work to be done, we cannot be allowed to slack off. Especially now. Order has never been as important as it is right this point in time," Harry told him quietly, rubbing the fur on the kittens head gently, before looking up at Death. "You know where it needs to be."

"I do. I shall leave you. Call me should you need me, otherwise, I shall return to you if I have need to pass something on," Death told him before he and the kitten left the room.

"Why did you call… dibs on Sam Winchester's soul?" Lucifer asked him, saying the word a little unsurely, frowning as he said it. Harry glanced at him and then shrugged.

"I feel… sympathy with the boy. He is-He reminds me of someone I once knew. That boy was also feeling as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders. And yet, he also felt like he was forever stuck in the shadow of another. Sam's the same. He feels responsible for all of this, even if it  _was_  Dean that admitted to the guilt," Harry told him simply, and Lucifer stared at him shrewdly.

"And this… boy you knew? Was it you?" Lucifer asked him dully, not really caring about the answer and totally not expecting Harry to snort and shake his head.

"No. I was a pitiful child, selfish, whiny and sweet merciful Death, did I angst. I made most teenagers look positively manic. No, it certainly wasn't me. I'd have hated me had I known me back then."

"Not now?" Lucifer muttered, getting a brief glare from Harry.

"Losing the ability to feel most emotion actually came as a relief for me. I could no longer bitch and whine about the injustice of my life. In fact, I could no longer even  _notice_ any injustice in my life, never mind moan about it. I enjoy being this emotionless Master of Death," Harry admitted with a shrug, glancing over at Lucifer when he snorted derisively.

"You do not strike me as being emotionless. For an emotionless person, you are disturbingly optimistic, chatty and hyper," Lucifer sneered and Harry shrugged.

"I believe I may have told you this before, but acting optimistic and cheerful puts people more at ease then just being blank. The emotion I show, however, is mostly faked. Only occasionally do I actually feel anything. Normally confusion," Harry admitted with a smirk.

"Is the idiocy an act? Or are you actually that retarded?" Lucifer asked him snidely and Harry beamed at him widely.

"Oh, that's me."

* * *

Harry nibbled on his bottom lip as he read through the note Death had given to him two weeks before, and then frowned before he lit the note in his palm on fire and dropped the ashes to the floor.

"Well fuck," Harry muttered, scowling at the remains of the note. He jerked his head up and glanced over at the door when Lucifer slammed it open and stormed into the room, chuntering under his breath.

"Why are my own creations so completely useless? I can't trust them to do anything without screwing it up!" Lucifer growled, and Harry snorted and shook his head.

"All evil overlords have shit taste in minions. The fact that you made yours just makes it seem more pitiful. Think of your own creator. Shit, His creations make yours look completely competent. And He's supposed to be all knowing and crap," Harry told him, snickering when Lucifer looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"God is not an evil overlord."

"Maybe not, but he  _is_  a megalomaniac. Fuck, he calls himself  _God_. 'Nuff said," Harry told him with a careless shrug, and Lucifer just sighed.

"I do not know how I can put up with you on a permanent basis," Lucifer muttered, and Harry smirked at him.

"Ah, you love me," Harry told him with a grin, then narrowed his eyes at him speculatively.

"What was the last thing you needed to do that would solidify your decision on this war?" Lucifer asked him suddenly, and Harry stared at him silently for a few minutes before answering.

"It's nothing important in your eyes. It'll be done by the end of the week," Harry informed him with a shrug, and Lucifer looked at him before turning to glare at the wall.

"I am getting annoyed with having to put up with your constant presence, but getting no actual benefit of allowing you to stick around. You have until the end of the week to inform me of your decision," Lucifer told him, and Harry smirked at him.

"You don't have the power to demand anything of me. So mayhap you should just forget that silly little threat," Harry informed him with an infuriating grin on his face, which only widened when Lucifer growled and stepped into his personal space, forcing Harry to tilt his head back and look up at him.

"Do not push me." Lucifer growled, and Harry sneered at him and pushed against his shoulders.

"I could say the same to you. Now, either move or allow us both to get rid of some stress by fucking me. You choose," Harry told him, still sneering. Lucifer sneered right back at him, then slammed his lips against Harry's, biting at them sharply to gain access.

Harry groaned and opened his mouth, letting Lucifer force his tongue in and fighting it for dominance, before submitting and moaning slightly, pressing against Lucifer's body. He tangled his fingers in Lucifer's hair, tugging on it sharply when Lucifer ripped his trousers open and shoved them down his thighs. Harry was then dragged away from the chair he had been leaning against, stepping out of his trousers as he stumbled forwards, and making a stunned huffing noise when the air was forced from his lungs as he was pushed onto the desk.

Lucifer glared at him as he removed his own trousers and then yanked Harry to the edge, standing between his legs. Harry raised an eyebrow at him, leaning back on his elbows, and wrapping his legs around Lucifer's waist.

"I didn't sign up for frottage, you bloody pansy. Fucking implies actual penetration,  _Luci_. Surely you know that," Harry told him with a smirk, making Lucifer glower at him before he growled at Harry and slammed into Harry with no preparation or lubricant. Harry gave a hiss of pain, throwing his head back and slamming it into the desk, but tightened the grip of his legs around Lucifer.

Lucifer then leant over Harry, one hand gripping Harry's hip tight enough that it would bruise by morning, and the other holding himself up over Harry, gripping the desk by Harry's head. He held still, breathing heavily as he tried to gain control of his Vessel's body, growl rumbling in his chest when he saw Harry smirking up at him.

Harry clenched around Lucifer, forcing a hiss from the Devil's lips, and moving his hands to grip the desk above his head. The initial pain from Lucifer's harsh entrance that he felt had started to ebb away. He caught Lucifer's eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"That's all you've got?" Harry asked, feeling a brief spark of annoyance towards himself at the slight breathless sound to his voice. "I'm not impressed."

Lucifer sneered at him, then pulled almost all the way out, before slamming back in. Harry groaned at the flash of pain he felt rush through his body, and let his head fall back onto the desk. Lucifer shifted slightly, and then began to hit Harry's prostate more often, blood from Harry's abused passage acting as a lubricant for them and making Lucifer's thrusts smoother. Harry moaned loudly and clenched around Lucifer. He moved one of his hands from the desk and wrapped it around his own erection, starting to tug at it in time with Lucifer's forceful thrusts.

It was only a few moments of continued abuse of his penetration, that Harry felt the icy burn warning of his impending climax, toes curling in pleasure as he felt pure elation rush through him at speed and he came, telling wordlessly before slumping boneless on the desk. Lucifer continued to thrust into him, barely audible grunts leaving him as he reached his own orgasm, before he slammed into Harry, groaning lowly and coming.

They stayed like that for a few seconds, allowing themselves to gain their breath, before Harry shoved at Lucifer's shoulders. He hissed as Lucifer pulled out, wrinkling his nose as he felt a mix of blood and semen slowly drip down his leg. He gave a shove to Lucifer once more and sat up, hissing quietly at the sharp stab of pain that rushed up his spine.

Lucifer backed away from him even more, and Harry hopped off the desk, waving his hand over his body and cleaning the mess away, making a pair of trousers appear on his legs. He then shifted the cloak around him, nodding when he felt it looked right, and looked at Lucifer.

"See? I feel less stressed already. Cheers for that. We really should do it again some time," Harry told him, brushing imaginary lint from his robes and then running a hand through his hair.

"Perhaps. I have minions to order around. Try not to blow this place up whilst I'm gone. It would put a crimp in my plans," Lucifer told him coldly, and Harry snorted mirthlessly.

"You don't have to worry about that. I need to speak to someone anyway. Arrangements have to be made, after all."

"So you have chosen your side then? Getting fucked by me made you make up your mind?" Lucifer asked with a smug smirk, Harry's next words made it drop however.

"No, getting fucked by you gave me a crick in my neck. A desk? Really? Pick a comfier place next time. You don't have to say it with flowers, a comfortable surface is enough for most," Harry told him with a grimace, bending his head to the side as though trying to get rid of said crick.

"But you  _have_  picked a side?"

"Yes, but I've always been on this side. Those frogs really need more backing. I'm only one fact of life, after all," Harry told him breezily, grinning at the furious look on Lucifer's face.

"The arrangements you are talking about are for this frog thing?" Lucifer growled at him, and Harry shrugged.

"Just because I am here, and you have started up the Apocalypse, doesn't mean Death has taken a break. If anything, we're more hard worked than ever before. Pull your head out of your arse and realise that the world doesn't revolve around you, even if your ego is large enough to have it's own gravitational pull."

"I wish you would cease your petty insulting. I need to go check something out. I do not know when I will be back, it may be quite a few days," Lucifer informed him, walking over to the door, whilst Harry just watched him blankly.

"Fine. If I'm not here when you get back, chances are Derek took me to sort something out. There are still some reapers out there that are not happy because of the seal that needed the death of two reapers. They believe we allowed it as the demon had one of Death's scythes in their hands," Harry informed him when Lucifer looked like he was going to question why Harry would be needed to sort something out.

"That seal was not broken," Lucifer pointed out, and Harry shrugged.

"The demon still got his hands on the weapon needed to even make an attempt at it. That it wasn't broken doesn't matter to some reapers. Most have accepted that myself and Derek do not know how the demon got the scythe," Harry told him, turning his back on Lucifer to open a drawer on the desk, searching through it.

"Do you?"

"We have our ideas, but nothing certain. Neither of us gave up the scythe however, and nor would we have allowed it in the first place, had we known. It is the younger reapers that are having a hard time accepting that as truth," Harry told him, turning back to face him as he tucked a small book into his robes.

"What was that?"

"You should go sort out your own minions. Should you actually need me, you know how to call me," Harry told him, then he stepped into the shadows and left Lucifer grumbling under his breath to an empty room.

* * *

Loki glanced down at the small note he had been passed by some random person that had passed him in the street. He opened it and read it, before snickering.

"Ah, Crowley. You never fail to amuse me. You never seem to learn that Harry will never leave you alone once you've acknowledged him," Loki muttered to himself, still sniggering slightly as he crumpled the note up and threw it into the bin he passed.

Loki then sighed as he looked at his watch, before mournfully glancing at the house he had been heading for, the home of his next victim.

"Crowley, the things I do for you. You better appreciate it. Stupid demon," Loki grumbled, then he snapped his fingers and disappeared off the street, a wrinkled chocolate bar wrapper the only thing left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, before people start screaming about it being dub-con/non-con, Harry was completely willing in this chapter and each time in fact. So yeah, that would be why there is no warning for dub-con/non-con.


	4. Chapter Four

Harry cursed as he tripped over his robes for the third time that morning, which was quite a feat being that it was currently only five in the morning. Harry narrowed his eyes at Death, positive he had seen the man's lips twitch in amusement.

"Look, I'm fed up of asking, will you just shorten my damned robes?" Harry hissed and Death sighed, shaking his head.

"I cannot. I have told you this, Master. I can change their appearance but the mass must stay the same," Death informed him and Harry pursed his lips together to show his distaste of that answer.

"Fucking mass, my arse! So tuck up the freaking seam! Help me out here! I'm fed up of falling and literally breaking my neck! Dying hurts, dammit!" Harry growled, the effect ruined somewhat by his startled yelp as he tripped over the side of the robe he wasn't holding out of the way.

"I am sorry, I cannot do that either," Death admitted, and Harry growled, picking himself up off the ground and narrowing his eyes at his servant.

"Fine! I'm goosing the next reaper then!" Harry hissed at him in anger, before he let his robes fall about him once more and glanced around them curiously. "So why did you call me here?"

"I brought you here to discuss how we should go about our part in this Apocalypse. No matter what side we are to be on, this must happen," Death informed him, and Harry racked his memory for whatever Death could be talking about.

"Erm…"

"I believe you referred to it as your… Romero moment?" Death enquired, and looked quite taken aback by the look of pure sadistic glee that appeared on Harry's face.

"Zombies!" Harry exclaimed, and then began to cackle, which even Death admitted to finding rather off-putting and sent a small shiver of fear down his spine.

* * *

Harry nibbled on his lip and glanced to the side at Death. The taller man was standing there stoically, not showing any emotion and not feeling the need to either, unlike Harry.

"So how do we go about this? Just 'Riiiiiise! Rise, my pretties!' or… what?" Harry asked, glancing back to look at the gravestones in front of him.

"Nothing quite that extravagant, Master. We both shall just walk by the graves, allowing our magic and presence to be registered. The rest will happen naturally," Death informed him, and Harry nodded before he frowned and tilted his head.

"All at once? Won't that be a little… creepy? Like... overkill or something? Or not kill, overrise?" Harry asked, nibbling on his lip with a frown and missing the confused look Death sent him.

"No, the older the corpse, the longer it will take for them to rise. The ones that have been in the graveyard the longest probably won't even rise before we end it."

"So it  _will_  be ended then?"

"It will."

"So… why are we doing this? And why here?" Harry asked after a few minutes of contemplative silence.

"The reason for both is the same. If we do this, it will be to our advantage. Doing it here, even more so," Death informed him, and took a step forwards, Harry stepping up beside him.

"How so?"

"This is Sioux City. Home of Bobby Singer. Friend to the Winchester's. Those two need to be shown the extent of the powers that those Lucifer has backing him, have. They need to be able to see just how far things will be taken. This will help with that," Death informed him, even as both he and Harry slowly started allowing their essence to seep into the ground.

"Huh, so this is… educational?"

"Very. Call it… religious education."

"I hated RE at school," Harry muttered, then stepped away from Death to cover the graves on the opposite side.

* * *

He had been moving through the fairly large graveyard for a good thirty or so minutes, before he came across a headstone that made him pause and frown.

It seemed Bobby Singer had a wife.

That could prove useful knowledge in the future.

Or right now, in fact.

And with that, Harry pumped just a little more energy into her corpse, to ensure she would rise before the spell was ended.

There was no greater lesson, in Harry's mind, than being reintroduced to a dead family member. Especially if they were dead through some fault of your own.

* * *

Harry and Death both stayed in the city, wandering the streets invisibly and watching the people react to having dead loved ones come back to them. First the disbelief, then the panic, before acceptance kicked in and they were welcomed back with open arms.

If he could, Harry would have been shocked at the lack of time between the disbelief and the acceptance it really was. He was feeling that ever familiar feeling of slight confusion though. He turned to look at Death and raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"Did you see why I chose here? Did you pass the grave I wanted you to?" Death asked him instead of answering the question he was mentally asking.

"I did."

"And?"

"She has a message to depart to them. She knows what to do. Knows what to tell them. Now will you answer why they are do accepting of this?" Harry asked, looking away from Death to a family that were joyously sharing what had happened since 'Grandma' had passed away.

"They are, as far as I can tell, just living each day as it goes, never sure when this 'Miracle of God' will end and they'll be back to mourning their loss once more," Death told him, also watching the happy family across the street from them. Both smirked when they saw a familiar black car drive past them.

"Wait, 'Miracle of God'? If they're so religious, how do they not know that this is a sign of the Apocalypse? How has that escaped their notice?" Harry asked, glancing over at Death, before his eyes drifted past him to watch the fading taillights of the impala.

"Either they didn't get that far in the book, or have chosen to ignore it. We should be leaving soon." Death pointed out and Harry nodded his head.

"We should. Looks like things are finally going into motion. Hold on to your scythe, kid, it's gonna be a bumpy ride," Harry told him, and Death looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Quite, Master."

"That answer would have given the original film quite a different feel to it," Harry muttered, before he glanced down to the side when he felt a cat brush against his ankle. "Ah good, the whole family's here. Shall we leave now, then?"

"Yes, though, before we do, you may wish to keep this on your person for the time being," Death informed him, handing over a ring, that Harry looked at before looking at Death with a raised eyebrow.

"Really?"

"You may need it."

"Okay," Harry said slowly, placing the ring on his ring finger. "If you think I might need it."

"I do."

"Alright, now we should leave," Harry asked, looking over at his servant, then down at the kitten as his feet.

Death nodded and Harry bent down to pick up Death of Cats before he placed a hand on Death's shoulder, and allowed his servant to take them to the next place they were needed. He wasn't sure if he wanted it to be back to Lucifer or not.

He was fairly certain that the only reason he always seemed to bottom was because Lucifer clearly had God's staff lodged firmly up his arse.

* * *

"So where's Jesus in all this?" Harry asked, sprawled across the sofa and glancing to the side at Lucifer. Said ex-angel paused in his pacing (which Harry was beginning to think was all he actually  _could_  do. Especially given that he wasn't really mentioned all that much in the Bible after that little blip near the beginning.) and turned to stare at Harry, looking highly confused. "And your son, come to think of it. Though, on that note, you really should go for a paternity test. Dingoes or dogs or whatever the hell its mother is aren't exactly known for their fidelity."

"I have… none of that was in the Bible."

"Sure it was! Or at least… it  _was_  in  _The Omen Trilogy,_ and  _Good Omens_  even made mention of your son. It's all in there. Every one knows it! Jesus comes down and does all his 'ahh! Look at me! Son of God, blah, blah, blah' and your son… er… rises and goes 'argh! No! Me be the son of Satan and I will rule this planet.' With a suitably evil cackle, and they will have an epic battle, destroy most of mankind, and the winner wins. Like… the ultimate Celebrity Deathmatch or something. I loved that show…" Harry mentioned, small smile crossing his lips, before it disappeared and he turned to look at Lucifer with his piercing eyes.

"Why did my… son sound like that?" Lucifer asked, mind clearly only being able to latch onto one part of the whole spiel that Harry did, which made Harry contemplate sulking.

"I watched  _Treasure Island_  last night whilst you were out… doing whatever the hell you do. The accent stuck. Only… for some reason, my pirate accent turns into a combine harvester owning farmer from Summerset part way through the sentence," Harry muttered, brows furrowed as he mentally wondered why.

Lucifer huffing loudly and glaring in the side of his head dragged him from his ponderings and he jerked in his seat them looked over at Lucifer with a raised eyebrow, humming in query.

"What does all of that have to do with anything?" Lucifer asked through clenched teeth. Harry sighed explosively and crossed his hand over his stomach.

"It's just… this is the Apocalypse, right? The end of the Bible and all that? Which, may I add, is one of my favourite things about that book."

"Revelations?" Lucifer deadpanned and Harry scoffed and shook his head.

"No! Just, all stories have a beginning, middle and an end, right? Well, your little book just took that a little too literally, didn't it? Has the beginning of the world, the middle where loads of random and highly improbable things happen, and I lived in a world where people could just randomly turn in chaffinches or something, so that's saying something. And then it has the end of the world. Like, KABOOM!" Harry yelled it, and they both turned their heads to where a startled squeak came, seeing a demon staring at them wide-eyed at the door.

"Yes?" Lucifer snapped, whilst Harry huffed and sneered at the demon. He didn't particularly like the ones that hung around Lucifer. He preferred the ones that could actually think for themselves. Which, admittedly, Harry had only met two of. Crowley and a strange one with yellow-eyes. And even then, the yellow eyed one still did everything he did for Lucifer. Which Harry just found boring. Useful, sure, but boring. Rebellion was so much more fun in his eyes.

"S-sir, I-I have news from Pestilence," The demon said in a hushed voice, throwing a wary glance at Harry, unsure if any of this should be said in front of the volatile being.

"You have heard word from Brady?" Lucifer asked the demon sharply, and Harry glanced over at them, eyes half-closed in a display of disinterest.

"Y-yes, sir."

"Right, I shall come with you then, hear what they have to say. Are you staying here? Or are you going to insist on following me around and ask me inane questions?" Lucifer asked, sneer on his face and he looked at Harry. Harry sighed in a suffering manner, and pushed himself in a sitting position.

"One, they're not inane. They're perfectly reasonable. Where is your son?  _He's_  the one that is supposed to bring this whole despair and destruction on the world, not you," Harry said, and the demon in the doorway made a strange strangled squeaking noise, before Harry carried on. "And two, I normally  _would_  follow you, if only because I feel this might be an important conversation that I don't particularly want to miss, but I have a prior engagement."

"A prior engagement?" Lucifer asked, disbelief and suspicion colouring the tone of his voice and making Harry sigh then sneer at him, hauling himself off the couch to stand up.

"Yes. I am there for the important deaths. The Dalai Lama is an important death. I need to go soon if I wish to make it on time." Harry said, making a small hour-glass appear hovering in the air beside him for a few second with a wave of his hand, then making it vanish with another wave. He grinned mirthlessly when he noticed the demons stunned gaze on him.

"Hmm. Well I will not be here for a while in a couple of hours time. I have a lead that may end this whole thing sooner than I thought," Lucifer informed him and Harry narrowed his eyes at him.

"Oh? And that would be?"

"None of your business. You have not told me that you are definitely on my side, thus I will not share any plans which may lead to my downfall," Lucifer told him, and Harry just shrugged, playing with the ring on his finger, which Lucifer eyed shrewdly.

"Fine, do as you wish. Before you go though, remember one thing."

"Oh?"

"Your current vessel is more than enough. You no longer need Sam Winchester's body," Harry told him with a wicked smirk, then he winked, clicked his heels together and left the room, making sure to leave with a puff of glitter, just to annoy Lucifer and stun the easily impressed demon. He liked the little touches.

* * *

Harry appeared in front of the Elysian Fields Hotel and rolled his eyes at the highly unimaginative name. Though, he'd imagine that no other mortal would pick up on the vague warning that name gave out. At least they died heroes. Or was it martyrs? Probably a bit of both. Or neither. Cannon fodder, possibly.

Shrugging, Harry stepped up the driveway to the main hotel doors, knowing that he was a little late. He actually  _hadn't_ lied about the Dalai Lama dying, though he did lie about the fact that he was always there. He didn't have to be, but he had a book of autographs of famous people and world leaders. Crowley and Loki had both asked that he get certain ones. The Dalai Lama was one of the ones they had both agreed on, apparently neither one could make the guy come across as a dick. Well, until Harry pointed out that the man made all the people living in his country live in poverty so that he could live in riches. He had actually felt a flash of pride at the impressed looks or awe on the faces of the two notorious tempters.

Harry walked down the abandoned corridors, pondering just how late he was and hoping he hadn't missed the main show. Though he was almost certain that their special guest wouldn't actually be turning up. Not that any of the other guests actually knew that.

He came to a stop by a pair of large double doors that obviously led to some lavish and extravagant room, and tilted his head to the side, almost tasting the air to find out what kind of souls were behind the doors. He smirked and then pushed them open.

"Loki, I have that autograph for you. You know, the unobtrusive and much loved dictator tyrant?" Harry said breezily, as though he hadn't just walked in on possible murder. The victim of said murder also being the person he was addressing.

"Oh? Who? Dalai?" Loki asked in the same tone, completely ignoring the sword pointed to his throat. Harry glanced to the side when Sam make a strangled noise like a puppy that had just gotten its nose stepped on. Dean just looked confused and slightly wary, like most of the other gods in the room in fact.

"Master Death. You are late," Kali stated, slowly moving the sword from where she was pointing it at Loki and turning to fully face Harry.

"Ah, yes, Dalai Lama kicked it. Needed to get him to sign my little book for Loki to see. You know how it is. Death waits for no one. Not even its master. I should have a word with him about that, actually," Harry muttered, tapping his chin and then shaking his head and smiling brightly. "So! The party's already begun then, huh? Wanna catch me up?"

"Ah, these lovely people were just… informing us that they wish for us to erm… stop this petty war and leave? Maybe. Possibly. I'm not sure, bit sketchy on the whole thing, if I'm totally honest," Loki admitted, wide grin in place, though if one looked close enough, they'd see wariness also in his eyes.

"Did none of you get my memo on this? Huh. Swear Derek had said that he'd sent them all out. Oh well," Harry said with a shrug, brushing a stray cat hair from his shoulder and then looking back at the gather beings in front of him.

"Dude! Kill them!" Dean finally exclaimed, then look perplexed at what he had just asked, Sam and Loki also throwing him looks of amused bemusement.

"No, everyone knows that Death has no  _real_  allegiances. It'd be naïve to think that we did. What, we choose one religion over another to survive? Don't be stupid. All religions are ridiculous if you ask me. Worshiping a bunch of hyped up weirdoes intent on making some poor fuckers life miserable? Stupid idea," Harry muttered, then looked at them all in shock as though he had forgotten then were there, when Loki coughed softly.

"Harry? Reason you came here?" Loki asked, clearly having decided to take the role of speaker of the room, given he seemed to be most comfortable with the strange man.

"I got an invitation to come. Loki, come here a second please," Harry said, glancing over at Kali when she sneered and made a derisive noise.

"Loki is not his real name. He is the Archangel known as Gabriel," Kali informed him and Harry rolled his eyes.

"Well of course he is. But he's Loki as well, Kali. Just as I am Death, the Grim Reaper, Hades, Anubis or any other name you give me. I am still Harry underneath it all, just as he is still Loki. Now, come here," Harry said, leaving no room for argument in his voice. Gabriel swallowed heavily and then walked around the table, behind Sam and Dean, before coming to a stop in front of Harry.

"Master Death?"

"Aw, Gabriel, no need for such formalities. Did  _you_  get my memo?" Harry asked, looking at Gabriel in the eye, mentally cackling that the angel was only an inch or two taller then him. He liked him, if only for that reason. Thinking about it, that was also possibly another reason he liked Crowley.

"I got  _a_  memo. Though I don't think it was from you," Gabriel admitted, and Harry narrowed his eyes and then nodded his head.

Harry then stepped closer to Gabriel, into his personal space and placed his hands on his shoulders, smoothing the fabric there like a mother would her child. He then straightened up slightly, pressed his chest against Gabriel's and moved to brush his lips against his ear, feeling him shiver in slight fear.

"Gabriel, I think it might be time for you to return to your job as the Fool in all of this, don't you think?" Harry whispered, locking eyes with Sam for a few seconds before slowly moving his gaze over to Kali, who immediately lowered her own eyes in respect.

"I think you might be right," Gabriel whispered back. Harry smiled slightly and then pulled back and patted Gabriel on the shoulder. Gabriel then spun on his heel to face the rest of the room, hands spread out at his sides slightly. "Sorry, kids. You're all on your own now. Ta ta."

Everyone in the room then watched as Gabriel locked eyes with Harry, nodded his head and vanished from the room. There was silence for a few minutes as they processed what they thought may have happened, then the silence was broken.

"Why did you let him leave? He needed to be taught! We needed to prove that these  _angels_  can be killed just as easily as we can!" Kali exclaimed angrily, throwing the sword onto the table. Harry snorted at the looks of horror, disgust and shock on their faces when the sword slowly turned back into a piece of scrap metal.

"Clearly you have everything under control. Lucifer won't be coming here tonight," Harry informed them, making Sam and Dean turn to gape at him, horror on their faces, whilst some of the gods looked confused and others looked sheepish.

"What do you mean?"

"Ah, you didn't hear? Samuel is no longer needed to be a vessel for Lucifer. I've sorted that one out for him. All prettied up his previous one. Made things less… rotten. Good as new, if I do say so myself," Harry said, giving himself a mental pat on the back for the job he had truly be surprised actually worked. "Makes things awkward in the bedroom if one of the partners cock falls off."

"Dude!" Dean exclaimed, clearly no able to stop himself, looking at Harry in horror. "You're banging the devil?"

"What? A man has needs. Screwing with Lucifer just adds a little more spice in the bedroom. Or against the desk as the case normally turns out to be," Harry muttered, grinning maliciously at the slightly green look on Dean's face. "Still, back on track. Sam is no needed in this. He can pull out if he so wishes."

"I-I'm not?" Sam asked, clearing his throat when it squeaked at the beginning.

"Nope. So, shall we all head off and find out some better things to do with our time? Out of curiosity, why are there several mortals locked in a fridge?"

"Food," Baldur said, finally speaking for the first time since Harry had arrived. Harry hadn't actually ever met the guy, but he really didn't have much of a positive opinion about the god. Seemed a bit… strong and silent. I.e. dense as a post.

"Huh. Okay. So, these two mortals can go, you lot can go back to doing whatever the hell it is that you do and I can go back and check up on Derek?" Harry enquired, looking at everyone gathered in front of him.

"No, the two humans cannot leave. They need to make their choice," Kali informed him before any of the other gods could speak up.

"Kali, do not cross me. You know that I can eradicate you from existence with barely a thought if you annoy me enough," Harry warned her harshly, the room going frigid and cold, making everyone else stiffen and not take their eyes off of Harry.

I'm sorry, My Lord," Kali whispered, lowering her head in regret and no small amount of fear.

"Hmm, now, as far as I know about those two, they  _have_ chosen their side. Just because it doesn't happen to be the same one that you are on, does not mean that it is the wrong one. Meaning, you cannot keep them here until they change their mind out of duress. You know that," Harry told them in a quiet voice, and everyone in the room felt the power behind those words.

"O-of course, My Lord."

"That being said, you are all, of course aware that no god, should they have followers, will ever be able to truly be killed. Eventually you will be personified once more," Harry said tapping his finger against his lips, and looking at the gathered gods speculatively.

"M-my Lord?" Ganesh warily asked, stepping forwards from where he had been leaning against the wall, not truly involved in events.

"This war… you had your choice to back one of the main sides, but you decided to make your own and try to take out the main contenders of one of the real sides. That… disappoints me," Harry said with a small shake of his head, he waved his hand to the Winchesters and everyone glanced over to see that the two humans had both been raising slightly from their chair.

"I think they caught us, Sammy."

"I think you're right," Sam muttered back, and Harry smirked at them both.

"You need to stay, you need to see this," Harry told them, and both men fell back heavily into their chairs, watching Harry with wide, cautious eyes. "Now, back to you lot, each of your religions has its own foretelling of an Apocalypse. And should they ever happen, you'd be mighty pissed if some of the other religions hustled in on it and tried to make it their dance. Right? So, why do you think the Judeo-Christians should accept you fucking with  _their_  Apocalypse. I have it on very good authority that this has been on the cards for years. No one is very impressed with you."

"M-my Lord… if I must—" Harry cut off whatever Odin had been about to say with his hand and a harsh look, sneering at the cowering gods in front of him.

"No, no more excuses. As I informed you before, should your current personifications die, they will soon be brought back, just newer and with different ideals, as the ideals of your people shift and change."

"Wh-what are you trying to say?" Kali asked, voice trembling in fear as she watched him with impossibly wide eyes, flames starting to flicker around her arms.

"I'm trying to say, that you're not really needed right this moment, are you? And, should this little Apocalypse pan out the way some  _ligitimate_  side of it wish, then there won't be any followers for you to lead anyway," Harry told them with a shrug, and each of the gods all took a step away from him, getting the grasp of what he was saying. Harry turned his head slowly towards Sam when he heard him gasp.

"You're going to—"

"I am."

"Why?"

"They tried to rob you of your Free Will, it's… not done," Harry explained with a small shrug, before he turned his attention back to the gathered gods.

"B-but… you allowed that-that  _fiend_ , Loki, to leave! What of him? Why is he so special?" Baldur asked harshly, spiting the name out like it was diseased. Harry just raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

"For that attitude, you'll be the first. And Loki, also, as you quite rightly pointed out, known as Gabriel. An  _Archangel_. On that note alone, he should be allowed to interfere just a little. But, most importantly, he didn't take away their free will, their right to choose who the back. In fact, he strove to help them, to get them out of this mess," Harry said, and his head snapped to look at Mercury who made a protesting noise.

"He only strove to help them so that they would fight his side! That is not giving them a choice!" Mercury insisted, and Harry sneered at the man.

"You are the worst of the lot. The traitor of the group. The one that called in Lucifer to slaughter you all, and you know he would have done so," Harry told them simply, before he narrowed his eyes at Mercury. "As to your accusation. He openly admitted that he got  _a_  memo. Admittedly, he didn't say it was from me, but he still got one. Gabriel has chosen his side. If anything, he would have been following  _them_ , not influencing anyone. So, he gets to leave," Harry explained with a casual shrug, before he straightened and snapped his fingers. "Don't try to run."

"M-My Lord! Please reconsider!" Kali exclaimed, the flames around her hands slowly starting to get brighter and move up her arms.

"Why should I? You broke the rules, you tried to interfere with another religion. You know that is not accepted. You've all forgotten what you have to allow and what you have to abide by. You need to be remade, should that option be still open to you once this war has been resolved."

"No!" Baldur exclaimed, backing away from him and clearly trying to get out of the room in much the same way that Gabriel had left earlier.

"Yes. Suck it up and take it like the mortal men you seem to have no regard for anymore," Harry told him, then snapped his fingers together once more, making an also see through scythe appear in his hands. "You sealed your fates by joining a war you had no place in and trying to influence people you had no control over."

Harry glanced to the side at where Sam and Dean were watching proceedings with wide, horrified eyes. They both looked at him when they felt that his attention was no longer on the cowering, fearful gods and was now concentrated on them.

"Whatever you think, just don't move. Stay in those seats, and you will leave this room," Harry told them, before he flickered from view. Sam and Dean both looked around the room quickly, trying to see where he possibly could have gone, before their attention was drawn to a pained yell from the back of the group of gods.

Harry was standing over the bowed body of Baldur, scythe sliced through the god's torso. Harry then brushed his hand softly down the side of the dying gods face, in a seeming show of compassion and love, then kissed the other side of the god's face and yanked the scythe out. Baldur's dead body dropped to the floor heavily and Harry was once more gone before anyone could turn their attention back to him.

One by one the gods were dispatched of. Some, like Gahnesh and Baron Samedi, taking it stoically, as though they accepted that this was what they deserved. Others, like Baldur, screaming in a mix of pain and fury. Sam and Dean had never seen so many powerful beings in one room before, and they certainly had never seen so many powerful beings be slaughtered by one seemingly tiny and unobtrusive man. Especially not so quickly and apparently easily.

Finally, the only ones left standing were themselves, Kali and, of course, Harry, who flickered back into existence halfway between Kali and the Winchester's. His scythe was still in his hands, clean from any evidence of what part it had played in the bodies now littering the room.

"Kali… You were one of my favourites. It pains me to have to do this, but you know I have to. You know I have no choice in this matter. We are all actors in a play we have no control over, you know this. Improv isn't accepted in this play by the main characters," Harry informed her with a soft voice, and Kali lowered her head, arms falling limply to her side as the flames dispersed. Harry slowly started to walk towards her until he was standing face to face with her.

Harry brushed the back of his hand down the side of her face gently, then pressed a kiss to her opposite cheek and hugged the body to his own when it went limp. Sam and Dean watched him in stunned silence for a few minutes, until he stepped away, letting the body fall to the floor with a thud.

"So! Now that that is over and done with, shall we leave? The other mortals in this place have been let out. No need to worry about them. So, go on, chop, chop, leave. You have plans to make, I'd imagine. And Lucifer may still decide to show up, you really don't want to be here should be decide to do so," Harry told them in a chipper voice, that made Sam jerk in his seat in shock, and Dean to just gape and blink. "Out!"

Sam and Dean scrambled up from their seats and practically ran to the double doors, pausing at them to turn back to look at where Harry was looking at the room at the bodies with an impassive face.

"Harry?" Sam called out tentatively, Harry looked over at them with a raised eyebrow in question. "Thank you."

"There is no need for thanks when I am only doing my job. Do not think that this is me helping you in anyway," Harry told them shortly, and the flickered from the room once more.

"Dude, let's get out of here before he decides we've outlived our welcome," Dean muttered to Sam, tugging on his sleeve slightly.

"Yeah… come on," Sam muttered, and they both quickly made their way out of the hotel, and to where the Impala had been parked. They both noticed that the doors were already open, giving an indication that Harry hadn't been lying about the others humans in the hotel.

As they drove off, neither one noticed a small white kitten fast asleep behind the passenger seat of their car, waiting for its master to call it back to him.

* * *

Harry stepped out of the shadow of the hotel, watching the fading tail lights of the Impala and then turning his head to the side to look at the approaching figure.

"It is done then?" Death asked, stepping up to stand next to Harry, also looking out to where the Impala had left.

"It is. You can now go out and inform everyone of where our allegiances lie. Tell them that there isn't long now. Things will come to a head soon enough," Harry told him and he felt Death nod beside him.

"Are you sure we have made the right decision?"

"We've made the only decision. We both need to leave before we are missed. Come to me when you have all their answers," Harry told him, tilting his head to the side to look at his servant.

"As you wish, Master," Death dipped his head in acquiescence and then left his side, leaving Harry alone to contemplate the decisions he had made that night. He sighed deeply and then disappeared from the hotel to go back to Kansas.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings – So yeah, this chapter has a lemon in it and to be completely honest the consent is somewhat dubious and out there… though for whom, it's up to you to decide. It's pretty much at the beginning of this chapter so feel free to skip it, though I'd recommend reading the lead up to said lemon. It's marked where it starts. Skip it, read it, make up your own mind about how consensual it is for either side… Confused yet? Read on, my little Cherubs! *cackles*

Harry glanced to the side from where he was leaning against the wall of the hotel they had been holing up in. It'd become a little boring after he'd had to take the soul of the catering staff. Unnatural things to do to cats, he couldn't let them live. They also had frogs legs on the menu, which, beyond confusing the non-living fuck out of him (they  _were_  in the middle of Kansas after all), also pissed him off. Double mark against their souls. Thankfully none of the demons, himself nor Lucifer actually needed to eat, or Lucifer probably would have been more pissed at him than he already was. Which was actually starting to get a little awkward.

Sighing, Harry turned back to look out at the people rushing by, making him wonder if they could sense the unholy evil aura coming from the hotel and if that was their reason for skirting around the building with wary haste. If they couldn't, Harry wasn't entirely sure why they should be allowed to survive this in the first place. They sort of deserved everything heading for them if they didn't see the large metaphorical meteor of sin and doom heading their way.

"Master," Harry threw one last glance at the humans rushing about, and then turned his attention to Death, who had just stepped out of the shadows next to him.

"Derek. Got news?"

"Certain plans will have to be changed," Death informed him with remorse, and Harry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd always felt that was a brilliant way for someone with no ability to show or feel emotions, to let others see their despair and/or frustration.

"By certain, what do you mean?"

"Most," Death admitted, and Harry sighed and wrinkled his nose. Also a good way for him to show his distaste at the news being given.

"Well that sucks. What do you advise?"

"Where's our other part?"

"Where he should be," Harry told him, and Death looked at him and then nodded his head.

"Lucifer is going to make your choose a side very soon, you know. You will have to tell him the side you have decided on. Are you certain on the side you have chosen?" Death asked him, and Harry titled his head to the side and wrinkled his nose.

"I have. Go inform the others to be prepared. I have a feeling that it's all going to be coming to an end fairly soon. You'll know when I have need of you," Harry told him and Death nodded before fading back into the shadows.

Harry then glanced back at the humans walking up and down the street in front of him and titled his head to the side. Shaking his head and sighing, he then turned away from them and headed back to Lucifer. The gig would soon be up, it would seem.

* * *

Harry walked into the suite and gasped when, as soon as the door shut behind him, he was slammed into the wall by Lucifer, the fallen angel's forearm pinning him against it under his chin.

"Hello to you too," Harry choked out, tip of his toes only just touching the floor, as he gasped for air he didn't really need and clutching at Lucifer's shoulders. Now would be a _really_  inconvenient time to die. Again. "Mind telling me what this is all about?"

"You need to decide your place in this war. Now," Lucifer hissed, pressing a little more firmly on Harry's windpipe before easing off to allow Harry to speak.

"Why? We not having fun?" Harry rasped, staring at Lucifer with blank eyes, which made Lucifer feel a small amount of doubt, though he didn't allow for it to show.

"I know your secret," Lucifer hissed, and Harry sneered at him, but a flash of fear rushed over his features, making his eyes widen briefly, when Lucifer grabbed his wrist with his free hand and slammed it against the wall.

"I've got many secrets, Luci…" Harry said, inwardly proud that he had managed to lose the flash of fear and thus it didn't show in his voice, though his unease was still there, lurking in the pit of his stomach.

"I  _know,_ " Lucifer hissed, hand slowly brushing up Harry's hand, before he grabbed at the ring and tugged on it. Harry glanced at him with wide eyes, before they narrowed and he shrugged.

"It's a ring. So what?" Harry said, voice remaining calm, no matter what he was feeling inside, though as was normal with him nowadays, the feeling was already beginning to fade.

"I know about the Deathly Hallows, Harry, Master over Death. I  _know,_ " Lucifer whispered, and Harry stiffened before he tried to push Lucifer away from him , but failed.

"So what?" Harry hissed, seeing that his struggle was futile.

"I know how to kill you," Lucifer whispered, pressing his body up to Harry's and letting go of his wrist, before he then returned his hand, this time holding his silver dagger-like sword against his wrist, pressing hard enough that he drew blood. Harry turned his head and watched the blood trickle down his arm dispassionately, before turning dull eyes to a very smug looking Lucifer.

"So kill me."

"I'd rather have you on my side. Say that you will aide me in this war, and I will allow you to live," Lucifer whispered, letting the sword slip slightly and causing another cut.

"If I agree, what is in it for me?" Harry asked, licking his lips as he looked at Lucifer warily.

"Your life?" Lucifer told him, voicing it into a question and looking at Harry with narrowed eyes. "It's your choice."

Harry hissed his displeasure when Lucifer pressed his sword in even more, making more blood run out and start to drip to the floor.

" _Fine_. You have Death on your side," Harry muttered, then he frowned and bit on his lower lip. "I need you to promise me that you will tell no one else about the Hallows. Promise me, Lucifer."

"I will tell no one of the Hallows. However, as a little insurance..." Lucifer muttered, then Harry actually saw black spots in his vision as Lucifer cut away the finger with the ring on and let go of Harry, bending to pick the finger up, and put it and the ring into his pocket.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Ow! That fucking hurt, you fucking knob-gobbler!" Harry yelled, clutching his hand to his chest and glaring at Lucifer. "And give me my fucking finger back!"

"Consider it collateral," Lucifer sneered, and Harry paused and looked at Lucifer with narrowed eyes.

"If you get collateral, then surely I should also get some," Harry muttered, before reaching out with his uninjured hand and dragging Lucifer to him. He the planted his lips over Lucifer's before he could speak and viciously kissed him, biting at his lips and forcing his tongue into the angel's mouth.

* * *

**(NC-17 – Starts here if only for some of the language from Harry)**

* * *

 

Moments later, Lucifer pulled away, though his body stayed pressed up against Harry's, and he sneered at the immortal wizard in front of him.

"How is this collateral?" Lucifer asked, and Harry shrugged his shoulders before tugging Lucifer back to him, he frowned however, when Lucifer seemed reluctant.

"You cut off my finger. The least you could do is fuck me and help dull the fucking pain! Fucking cunt," Harry spat, sneering and closing the distance between then by leaning forward and biting harshly at Lucifer's bottom lip.

Lucifer growled and kissed Harry back, both able to the blood in their mouths from their ripped and torn lips, before he pulled back, grabbed Harry's shoulders and spun him around, slamming him face first into the wall. Harry grunted and flinched when his injured hand hit the wall, leaving a long smear of blood across the wallpaper and opening the slowly (for Harry at least) healing wound.

Harry then hissed when Lucifer bit down in the back of his neck, breaking the skin there and lapping at the blood. He yanked and tugged at the cloak and pulling it roughly off his shoulders as he pulled back slightly, letting go of the abused flesh of Harry's neck. Harry groaned and winced as his hand was once more abused before gasping when his trousers were forcefully ripped down his legs.

Lucifer hastily started to prepare Harry, shoving two barely lubed fingers into him straight away and making the shorter man gasp and grunt, pushing back against Lucifer. He gave a strangled moan when his prostate was brushed against, hips jerking in shocked pleasure, before he grunted as a third fingers was forced into him.

"Do it already!" Harry grunted, and gasped, then yelped when Lucifer pulled his fingers out before slamming his erection in to the hilt in quick succession. He then paused and leant heavily against Harry's back, breathing harshly and making Harry shift against him, clenching his muscles around Lucifer's erection. "Move."

Lucifer growled and harshly bit down on Harry's shoulder as he pulled out, then slammed back in, forcing a groan from Harry as he painfully clenched his hands into fists, no longer feeling the pain from his finger, or caring about the blood trickling down his arm and the wall.

The room was filled with their harsh breathing and grunts, the sound of skin slapping on skin almost drowned out by the groans and hisses that Lucifer forced out of Harry with his harsh treatment. Harry let his head drop back to rest against Lucifer's shoulder as he felt his orgasm rising inside of him, and then quickly muttered something almost inaudible under his breath before he cried out his pleasure. Lucifer grunted and erratically started pumping into him, his own climax rushing over him as he gripped Harry's hips hard enough to bruise, and slammed as deep as he could into Harry, not moving until he was completely drained.

Harry slumped forward to lean heavily on the wall, wincing when Lucifer pulled out and stepped away from him. Harry felt liquid running down his thighs and cringed at the sensation, turning around to slump with his back to the wall. He looked up at Lucifer through his lashes and sneered at the man, before he waved his hand, cleaning and clothing himself once more. Though the end result wasn't as he'd hoped, his finger still bleeding sluggishly.

 

* * *

****(End Lemon)** **

* * *

 

"Intense," Harry muttered, glancing around for his cloak and then snatching it when Lucifer handed it to him. Harry narrowed his eyes at the man suspiciously, then shrugged the cloak on, ignoring the returning constant dull throb now coming from his hand.

"We should make a start on plans, now that I know I have you on my side," Lucifer said, ignoring the glare Harry was sending his way and walking over to the door to open it. He paused before opening it and looked Harry up and down with a distasteful sneer. "At least you are now looking cleaned up and semi-presentable."

"Fucker, no thanks to you. You do know I'll get that ring back, right?" Harry said, then snapped his mouth shut when three demons walked into the room, glancing between the two snippy men warily.

"You can certainly try. But you will definitely fail," Lucifer informed him, ignoring the insulting gesture Harry sent at him and, instead, turning to the three that entered the room.

Harry watched with narrowed eyes as Lucifer laid out the plans, and then sighed and let his eyes drift shut. Things were going almost to plan. Though he could have done without losing his finger.

* * *

Harry followed Lucifer onto the field where he claimed he would meet with Michael, and finish the war once and for all, in contemplative silence. His glanced down at his hand and frowned at the slow rate his finger was growing back, he could've sworn that his arm grew back a lot quicker when he got it ripped off by a passing train. And wasn't  _that_  an embarrassing memory he'd rather forget? He sighed once more and turned his attention back to Lucifer, scrunching up his nose and watching with disinterest as Lucifer paced in the grass.

"And you're certain that Michael will know when to show up? You sent him an email, or something, about it? Huh, angel emailing. That would be strange. 'Don't forget to smite the heathens in Croydon. Raphael. Xx' Yeah, that'd be weird," Harry muttered kicking at the only stone in the entire field. Lucifer briefly wondered where the hell, and _how_ , Harry found the damned thing. Though he had quickly come to learn that the laws of logic didn't apply to Harry (or small children) when they got it into their head to irritate the ever loving hell out of whoever they were with.

"We do not use… emails. I do not even know what they are," Lucifer muttered, standing completely still and just staring out into the distance.

"Huh. That  _shouldn't_  surprise me… but it does. I'm also sort of concerned for the angel stuck with smiting the heathens in Croydon. They're gonna be there for a while…" Harry muttered, digging up the dirt with his toe and ignoring the somewhat perplexed look Lucifer was sending him.

"You made that hypothetical situation up. There  _is no_  angel in Croydon," Lucifer hissed at him and Harry glanced up at him through his lashes and smirked.

"You sound tense. Why? And you still haven't answered my question in the first place… How do you know Michael will be here?" Harry asked him, completely ignoring the glare Lucifer was sending his way.

"I just know. This is where it is supposed to happen," Lucifer informed him and Harry looked at him, nibbled on his bottom lip and tilted his head.

"A random field in the middle of Kansas? Right," Harry muttered slowly, rolling his eyes and then rolling his shoulders to try and work a kink out of them.

"This is where it will happen. Stop asking pointless questions," Lucifer growled and Harry smirked before he frowned once more and looked around them before turning back to Lucifer.

"Whose meat suit will he be using? Can't be Dean's, he hasn't said yes," Harry pointed out, making Lucifer look at him suspiciously.

"How would you know if Dean Winchester has said yes or not?"

"Simple,  _you_  don't look scarily like Sam Winchester, too short, not enough... hair going on. So, on that theory, why else would Dean say yes? So, how is Michael gonna show up with no meat suit? I don't fancy having my eyeballs burnt out of my skull," Harry added, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "It'd take fucking ages for them to grow back if the length of time my finger is taking is any indication."

"Your eyes would not be burnt out of your skull. You should be able to see an angels true form with no repercussions," Lucifer informed him and Harry made a noise of interest.

"Huh. Good to know. I had wondered if that would be a perk of the job. So, Mikey-boy's gonna show up in the angelic buff? All bright lights, glitter and other camp stuff that makes me question the validity of some of the things mentioned in the Bible. Because, let's face it, angels? Kinda gay. Like... fairies. And for a brief period in history, sailors. I blame the Village People for that last one," Harry added in a mutter, and Lucifer sighed and dragged a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Angelic buff? ... I don't think I want to know," Lucifer muttered and then frowned. "In answer to your other question, I believe he has a meat suit now. The youngest Winchester."

"Adam? He's dead. I should know; I took his soul myself," Harry said with a frown of confusion.

"They brought him back to life for the sole purpose of giving Michael a vessel," Lucifer told him and Harry huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh,  _that's_  fair. I hate you higher, celestial beings. You think you're above Death and the natural order of things. Well, hate to break it to you, but you're not. Wankers," Harry muttered, ignoring the growl from Lucifer.

"I  _am_  above you! I own you now," Lucifer hissed at him, patting his pocket in reminder and getting a sneer from Harry.

"So you like to believe. Shall we get this show on the road? DEREK!" Harry bellowed, smirking when he saw Lucifer cringe at the volume, then breaking out into a grin when Death appeared to the side of him.

"Master," Death said with a nod, and Harry smiled at him, ignoring the sharp look Death sent to his injured hand. "What-?"

"Is everything sorted out?" Harry asked before Death could finish his question, and Death narrowed his eyes at Harry before he sighed and nodded his head.

"The final part of the plan was a success, everything is complete and ready. Now we just have to let everything take its course," Death informed Harry, and Harry smirked. Both anthropomorphic personifications ignored Lucifer's stare burning into their sides, neither one giving the man any opportunity to question them.

"Brilliant! Then I supposed our work here is done? There is nothing more that we can actually do to aid this?" Harry asked, he glanced at Lucifer out the corner of his eye and noticed the angel was grinding his teeth.

"You are right. We are no longer needed in this," Death agreed and clearly that was Lucifer's breaking point, as he quickly strode over to them and grabbed Harry by the collar of his cloak, completely ignoring the narrow eyed, angry look Death sent him.

"What do you mean? You promised me that you were on my side in this! You stated that you were backing me! You are not allowed to back out of this until  _I_  say so!" Lucifer hissed, shaking Harry slightly in his anger. Harry just gazed at him impassively and then let his head drop to the side to glance at Death.

"He thinks he has the ring," Harry then had the peculiar feeling of gravity abandoning him for a second, when Lucifer let go of him in shock at that statement. Gravity then grabbed him and yanked him harshly to the floor, making him exhale in shock.

"I  _do_  have the ring! I cut it off your finger myself!" Lucifer hissed at him, and Harry smirked then glanced over at Death.

"No.  _That_  ring is somewhere safe. Somewhere you would never even  _think_ of looking. The ring that you currently hold in your position is the Black Heir's ring. Not even the Lord's ring. That will get you access to one vault belonging to the Black's in Gringotts bank. And it's empty. Apparently when you don't actually have a job and some sort of steady income, money doesn't last forever, no matter how much you have," Harry commented breezily, absently waving his hand in a dismissive manner.

"No! I  _own_  you!" Lucifer hissed, reaching out to grab Harry once more, but missing when Death pulled Harry against his chest protectively, sneering at Lucifer in thinly controlled anger.

"Look, I've said it before and I'm certain I'll have to say it again after today. Death has no allegiances. We can't pick a side to back. Both sides will suffer losses, and we have to be impartial and reap the souls that fall. We don't give a shit if they are good, bad, neutral, whatever. We just send them on their merry way to wherever the fuck they are destined to go," Harry explained with a shrug, smirking at Lucifer's furious expression.

"You betrayed me!" Lucifer screamed, and Harry sighed and glanced up at Death, raising an eyebrow and shrugging.

"We didn't betray you. If anything, you betrayed us by trying to force our hand. You tried to trick my master into doing your bidding by trying to steal something from him that can and will never be yours. All three Hallows accepted Harry as their master and owner. Never has that happened before and never will it happen again. They can't ever be separated by different masters ever again. And no one gets the right to control Death anymore," Death informed Lucifer, before Harry chuckled and stepped out of Death's hold, walking over to stand in front of Lucifer.

"Let's be honest, Lucifer. You never truly thought I would back you. That was why you felt you had to trick me. Why you planned to separate me from the Hallows and kill me. You  _knew_  I wouldn't truly allow you to win this," Harry told him in a soft voice, gently resting his injured hand on Lucifer's cheek. "No one succeeds when they plan to rule the world. Not even Satan."

"You tricked me," Lucifer said, some of the fight leaving his voice, and Harry smiled at him and shrugged unapologetically.

"I had help," Harry said, and snapped his fingers, before taking a step away from Lucifer. He pulled his uninjured hand out of his cloak pocket, and opened it to show him the four Horsemen's rings in the palm of his hand. He then shrugged, letting a small smile cross his lips. "You  _did_  say that you never truly felt you had gotten out of Hell. Maybe you were right."

Harry then smirked and glanced just past Lucifer's shoulder, making Lucifer stiffen and look behind him. He took a step back when he saw Castiel and Gabriel standing behind him, each with a hand on the shoulder of either Sam or Dean.

Gabriel then smirked at him and waved his fingers, before glancing past Lucifer to Harry. Harry smiled and tilted his head in acquiescence. Gabriel then gave a small laugh, dragging Lucifer's attention back to him, and meowed.

"You!" Lucifer spat, finally putting the clues together and realising he had probably been played from the very beginning.

"My very own Cordelia. I'm insane, but I'm not actually insane enough to believe I need a Death of Cats," Harry bluntly informed him with a mock sad shake of his head.

"You never had any intention of backing me! You tricked me from the start! How  _dare_  you?" Lucifer spat, spinning on his heel to stride over to Harry, wrapping his hands around his neck before anyone could move to stop him. Castiel tightened his grip on Dean's shoulder when the hunter made a move to help Harry, whilst Gabriel snickered and shook his head at Sam. They all then looked to Death to see what his reaction was, and both hunters frowned to see him ignoring Harry and Lucifer completely, choosing to look to the side instead.

"I didn't," Harry choked out, scrabbling and scratching at Lucifer's hands and arms. "I gave you a chance. You can't hide from me! Can't hide your intentions! I knew  _everything_! You  _hated_  me from the get go!"

Lucifer gave a growl of rage and tightened his grip on Harry's neck even more, making Harry gasp and choke. His struggling started to get weaker as his sight started to fade and he felt his body slowly begin to give up and shut down due to the lack of oxygen. He was only immortal in the sense that he couldn't  _stay_  dead after all.

"Luc—Be-behind you," Harry gasped out, and took in heaving, wheezing gasps of breath when he was unceremoniously dropped to the floor.

Harry glanced up through his limp, greasy hair and smirked when he saw Lucifer looking at the sword in his chest in shock, before he then looked up at Michael holding on the hilt of the sword, a look of betrayal and pain on his face. Michael grimaced at the look being sent his way, but pushed the sword in even deeper, brushing the fingers of his free hand over Lucifer's cheek in a weak gesture of apology.

"Derek…" Harry gasped out, throwing the rings to the floor and watching as the gate was opened. He then glanced back and saw that Death had appeared behind Michael and Lucifer. "Now."

Death smirked and tilted his head in a small bow to Harry, before he pushed both Archangel's into the hole. Harry stretched out his hand and let it brush against Michael's ankle, just as the shocked angels fell past him.

Death then moved quickly and grabbed hold of Harry to prevent him being sucked into Hell with the two angels, and they both watched as Gabriel shoved a shocked and frozen Sam into Castiel and Dean. The only Archangel that ever actually registered on Harry's radar then grabbed the rings and shut the gate, glancing down at the rings in his hand.

"It's over," Harry, Death and Gabriel all snapped their heads to the side to look at Sam when he spoke, a little breathlessly, the awe and relief clearly evident in his voice. "It's… they're…" Sam seemed unable to voice his feelings, just weakly waving in the direction that Lucifer and Michael had last been seen.

"What—what about Adam?" Dean finally asked, breaking the silence that had descended over them after Sam's stammered exclamation, all six of them just staring at where it had finally ended.

"He's moved on. Gone back to where he rightfully should be. Don't worry, he's not in the box." Harry told him, weakly letting Death and Gabriel pull him up from the floor and then straightening up. He refused to look weak and…  _mortal_  in front of the two hunters and their angel.

"Is it really over? How was it that easy?" Castiel finally asked, looking both disturbed at the recent happenings and a little relieved.

"You think that was  _easy_ , little bro?" Gabriel asked incredulously, staring at Castiel in stunned disbelief.

"He's kinda right. We didn't do jack," Dean pointed out, whilst Sam sheepishly shrugged and nodded his agreement.

"You're right,  _you_ , Team Free Will, did nothing in this. Well, besides fuck up quite a few of our plans. Why did you ignore our message from Mrs Singer? Why the fuck did you go to Elysian Fields?" Harry asked them, feeling a flash of anger and allowing it to show in his tone, before it quickly diminished to nothing. Both the Winchesters' had to grace to look at the floor in shame, whilst Castiel just look confused.

"What message?" Castiel asked, looking from the two humans to the three beings that had just ended the Apocalypse in a seemingly easy manner. One of which being his estranged and uncaring brother. Clearly not as uncaring as he had led them to believe.

"I gave Bobby Singer's wife a message to pass on to Bobby and the Winchesters' when we raised the dead. We told her to tell them not to say yes, no matter what, and to not stray far from South Dakota. Clearly they decided to ignore the second half.  _Actually_ , you probably would have ignored the first bloody part too if I hadn't shown up when I did. I should have let you get eaten," Harry muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting slightly. "You nearly fucked up the plan."

"Sorry," Sam muttered, whilst Dean just shrugged and Castiel continued to look a little lost. "Still, you succeeded. You managed to do what we clearly couldn't."

"Yeah, but it could have been over so much sooner. In fact, this never would have bloody happened in the first place if Dean hadn't been a selfish twat and dragged Sam out of Heaven just so he wouldn't be left behind. Wanker," Harry muttered, and then winced when he felt the first flash of guilt and regret he had ever felt since getting all three Hallows, at the look of absolute devastation on Dean's face. "Sorry."

"I…" Dean trailed off and clenched his jaw, looking to the side and refusing to meet anyone's gaze.

"Yeah, I know. Fuck, we all make mistakes, I know I did when I was human. I still do. No one's infallible. It was hypocritical of me to point out your own faults, Dean Winchester. I apologise for that," Harry admitted with a pained shrug, then he glanced down at his hand and scowled.

"It's really over? He can't get back out?" Sam finally asked, and Dean glanced at them anxiously. Harry sighed and nodded his head. "But… how was it so.. I mean… you made it look so…"

"Easy? Like I said, it really wasn't. I had to lose a fucking finger for this stupid bloody war! And look! It hasn't grown back yet! I'm gimpy! GIMPY!" Harry exclaimed, waving his hand at a shocked and slightly disturbed Sam.

"Er…"

"And I had to hang around with some of the most moronic demons known to existence! I missed out on nabbing an autograph from Kama Chinen because he was scheduled to die on Sam's birthday. Had to keep that window open just because  _everyone_  thought the end was gonna happen then. Bad shit happens on your birthday, Sam," Harry informed him, and Sam made a small noise of protest, whilst Dean snorted and nodded.

"He's right you know. Oliver Reed died on your birthday," Gabriel pointed out, and Harry nodded and joined in.

"The Battle of Hogwarts happened on his birthday."

"So, half the wizarding world then. Even  _Sam_  died on his birthday, kinda like Shakespeare," Gabriel pointed out, and Sam just gaped at the two.

"No, that was a myth. No one actually knew the exact date that William Shakespeare was born on, they just said it was the same day as his death. I suppose it made it seem a little more poetic," Death pointed out, and Gabriel looked enlightened then glanced over at a still gaping Sam.

"Dean died on May 2nd as well," he said, just to make their point perfectly clear, ignoring the devastated look that crossed Sam's face at the reminder.

"Actually, that was May 3rd," Harry said, scrunching up his nose.

"See! Not my birthda—"

"Dude," Dean muttered, punching Sam's shoulder to shut him up.

"My point is, bad shit happens on your birthday. So I left it open and missed the opportunity to grab the autograph of the oldest recorded human being, ever! Well, muggle human being," Harry added hastily, then glanced over at the Winchesters' and Castiel. "Look, it wasn't easy, okay? You may think it looked easy, but that's because you weren't  _there_  for the difficult shit."

"Weren't there? We had a fucking pissed off and insane Crossroads Demon hounding our asses for freaking  _months_! I think I even got fleas from his demon mutt!  _Demonic fleas_!" Dean hissed, waving his arms around to express his anger, whilst Harry, Death and Gabriel just watched him in amusement.

"Crowley did that as a favour to me. Well, not the fleas. But the rest was a favour to me. He kept you suitably distracted and out of the way. Fuck knows how this would have gone if you two had actually had the time to try and help," Harry muttered, and Sam made a small indignant noise, looking insulted, whilst Dean deflated a little.

"Crowley did that for  _you_?" Dean asked in a small voice, and Harry nodded.

"He did a lot for me. I think I owe him for several lifetimes. But I know how to pay him back," Harry added with a smirk, before nodding his head at Gabriel. " _He_  helped me too."

"I don't…" Dean trailed off and looked at Castiel helplessly.

"What I think Dean wishes to ask is, why didn't you tell us from the beginning that you were helping us?" Castiel asked, looking just as confused as Sam and Dean.

"I didn't know from the start which side I was on. Not really. I honestly did want to see what Lucifer would be doing for the world if he was allowed to win. The only side I didn't consider helping out, was the angels. And that was just because Zachariah was a twat and I'd rather he just curl up and die. His vessel is a wanker too.  _Hates_  cats! How can you hate  _cats_?"

"Er…" Sam opened and shut his mouth a couple of times before he finally settled on shaking his head and shrugging. There really wasn't anything he  _could_  say to that question. Not safely anyway.

"Look, never mind. It's over now. Done. Finite. We all have jobs that we need to get back to. Derek, you need to return these to their rightful owners. I don't think we can keep a hold on to their souls for much longer without them," Harry said, taking the rings from Gabriel and passing them over to Death. Death nodded his head and the disappeared from the field, leaving Harry to turn and face Dean, Sam and Castiel once more. Gabriel standing next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I—We—Thank you," Sam finally said, and Harry just shrugged and glanced at Gabriel.

"No need for thanks. I didn't do it for you. It was purely selfish reasons. We need to be going, but Sam, I'll see you when it's time to collect your soul. You too Dean, gotta get your autographs after all," Harry added, then nodded to Gabriel, who smirked at him, waved his fingers at the gaping hunters and the two of them disappeared.

"Anyone else feel dirty inside?" Dean asked, and Sam slowly turned to face him, face still a little pale, and nodded.

"Little bit."

"We should go. Bobby should be informed that it is over," Castiel told them, placing a hand on a shoulder of both hunters.

"True. Kinda hope we won't bump into that weird little guy for a long, long while though," Dean muttered and Sam nodded his head in vehement agreement.

"Definitely. Little people creep me out."

"Everyone's little to you, Sasquatch."

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

Castiel sighed silently, then took the bickering brothers away from the field, throwing one last glance at where two of his brothers had fallen before he disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… That was the last proper chapter of Creep. If the lemon disturbed you, then I kinda guess I should apologise. To be honest, it kinda turned out a little weirder than I thought it would. It wasn't… quite what I meant for it to be. I'm not a fan of noncon or dubcon in any explicit context, and this could be seen as being completely consensual, but then, neither of them were completely on board for it either. It was more a deal maker. Just, Lucifer didn't realise what deal it sealed.
> 
> Also, it seems that my lovely wife is still right about my shitty hint giving skills. *snort* Only, now, instead of being faaar too obvious, they're a little too vague. In my defence, before anyone is up in arms, I did give hints about all of this happening, including Loki being the DoC…
> 
> From the beginning, Loki was gonna be pivotal to the plot. And he was always gonna be Death of Cats. The biggest clue of them being one and the same was possibly a little mean of me. It was the Cordelia/Fool comments. With Shakespearean enthusiasts, there are two sides of an argument about King Lear, some believe that Cordelia and The Fool are one and the same, due the fact that they are never seen on the stage at the same time. DoC's and Loki were never seen with Harry at the same time.
> 
> Also, there was one huge clue as to which side Harry was gonna be on. In Chapter Three (I think) Harry said that the weather sprites wouldn't be extinct for another twenty years. Surely, if he had every intention of helping Lucifer follow through with his plan and destroy the planet and everything on it, that would include the nymphs? And that his little book would know this? *grin* See? I suck with hints and clues! Sorry about that.


	6. Epilogue

_Six Months Later_

Harry slowly walked down Oxford Street, Death a silent presence at his side as they both wondered what the Winchesters' and their angel was doing right now, now that the world was no longer at risk of being consumed by an angry fiery ball of Satanic rage. It was still at risk of being consumed by a big fiery ball of whatever the hell the sun was made out of, but that wasn't scheduled for quite a few millenia. They were safe for now.

He paused in his walking slightly, making Death falter beside him, when he felt another presence detach itself from the shadows and walked into step beside him smoothly, looking for all the world that he had always been there next to him. Stylish, smug bastard.

"Crowley. I never said thank you," Harry said, glancing at the demon beside him as the demon stepped up next to him.

"Me being alive is all the thanks I need," Crowley told him with a smirk, and Harry glanced at him out the corner of his eye and then shrugged.

"Perhaps, but I only made you promise to not side with the Winchesters'. You didn't have to do anything else once you promised that. You could have just stayed in your impressively furnished house," Harry pointed out, ignoring the put out glare that Crowley sent his way.

"I prefer manor. Still, I might not have had to do it, but I wanted to help you."

"Ah, Crowley. You warm me cockles and me 'eart when you say things like that!" Harry said, doing a fairly passable impression of someone that has never heard a true Cockney speak in their life. And making Crowley shudder, before he snorted and glanced over at Death before looking back at Harry.

"You'd never believe you were brought up in Surrey. Common little shit that you are," Crowley told him with a smirk, getting a mirroring smirk from Harry.

"I was hardly brought up. More like dragged up," Harry pointed out and Crowley snickered and nodded in agreement.

"An' it shows. So, what have you been up to now? Now that you don't have to pretend to be Lucifer's bitch?" Crowley asked, smirking at Harry's indignant little noise of protest at being called  _anyone's_  bitch.

"I never had to pretend anything. I honestly  _was_  considering taking his side in this. But... It's very hard to hide your soul and your intentions from Death. Especially if you fuck him. He didn't want any of us to survive," Harry muttered, scowling at the ground in front of him as they walked slowly down the street, last minute shoppers ignoring the trio that they passed in their rush.

"Huh. Wanker."

"Exactly. Anywho, now? I guess I shall continue doing what I always have," Harry said in his usual, disturbingly chipper tone of voice once more and making both Crowley  _and_  Death glance at him warily.

"Save the kittens and frogs of the world, and pester myself and Derek?" Crowley asked drying, scowling when Harry sniggered and nodded his head.

"He does not pester me as much as he does yourself, Master Crowley," Death told him with a smirk, getting a scowl from Crowley for his efforts.

"Huh. Well, look, I don't mind you randomly popping up on me. You make my existence more interesting at least," Crowley finally said after they had walked in silence for a few minutes, and Harry turned to look at Crowley.

"Aw, Crowley! You like me!" Harry said, a wide grin on his face.

"If you wish. Why frogs, by the way? Kittens I get, they're cute. And sort of demonic. But frogs? You lost me with that one," Crowley admitted, and Harry glanced at him before he shrugged.

"I heard a story when I was little. Sort of a variation on Pandora's Box. Only, it was a frog that let out death. I felt I should thank them in some way. Else I would have never become... me," Harry admitted with a shrug and Crowley raised an eyebrow at him, then frowned when Harry smirked and tugged a sack seemingly out of thin air, making the demon almost entirely forget the previous conversation.

"What's in the bag?" Crowley asked him, eying the bag warily, and actually taking a step back when Harry cackled.

"Should have put it in a box, would have made that question so much more amusing. Besides, I believe you might thank me one day for what I've done. I'll hold on to these for you, Crowley. Uphold my end of the deal," Harry informed him, smirking at the stunned expression on the demon's face when he tugged out a human skull from the bag.

"Is that...  _me_? Why would you-?"

"It might come as a surprise, Crowley, but... I like you. You, Derek and Loki are the only ones who have ever been able to make me feel anything for any reasonable amount of time. I don't see me dying for a very long time, so... You and Loki had better get used to the idea of living forever. I don't give up those I see as my friends very easily. And let's be honest now, if  _I_  don't want you to die, then you won't," Harry admitted with a shrug, placing the skull back in the sack and making it vanish to wherever it had been before.

"You're very strange, you do know that, right? Who the 'ell admits to likin'  _Loki_! He's a damn angel!" Crowley added when it seemed he had lost Harry in his reasoning. He regretted it almost instantly when Harry got a glint in his eyes.

"What? You like Aziraphale, even if you won't introduce us. That's very mean by the way," Harry added, ignoring the exasperated sighs coming from both men on either side of him.

" _Good_   _Omens_  was a work of fiction. Aziraphale don't exist. I've  _told_  you that," Crowley muttered exaggeratedly, and Death chuckled on the other side of Harry, knowing just how many times Crowley had tried to convince Harry of the truth. His master was very stubborn in not believing the poor demon though. Which Death found highly amusing. At least until his master tried to make him wear a black cloak and talk in constant capitals… which Death wasn't entirely sure  _how_  that was done.

"Fine! But... You've got to admit that you  _did_  fuck with the schematics of the M6."

"Oh yes! I did that! And I did have a Bentley too, before that bastard Loki won it from me in poker," Crowley admitted with a scowl, and Harry clapped his hands and chuckled like an excited child.

"I wondered why he had a Bentley."

"Where  _is_  everyone's favourite  _anti-_ Archangel?" Crowley asked, eying Harry's robes suspiciously.

"He's... Actually, I have no idea. Derek?" Harry asked, looking over at Death, who sighed and closed his eyes for a few seconds before answering.

"Master Gabriel is currently enjoying posing as a sub part of ourselves, Master. He is reaping the soul of an elderly cat. He will probably be with us once he has finished."

"Always knew angels were freaks," Crowley muttered under his breath, before he smirked and patted his jacket before reaching inside. "I say we go to that pub and wait for him. In the mean time, I believe I should return this to its rightful owner, now that the risk of Luci getting his hands on it is over."

Crowley reached out and placed a ring in Harry's expectant hand. The Master of Death had all the Hallows on his person once more. Harry's lips curled into a lazy smirk and he wrapped his fingers around the ring.

The Apocalypse had been stopped this time around and Harry was... content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No kittens were harmed in the making of this fic (because Harry scares me… and I like kittens), but I may have lost a few brain cells…
> 
> So what did you think though? Of the whole story? Anyone guess that Crowley was the one with the Hallow? Honestly? Seriously though, I truly enjoyed writing this and so I really hope you all enjoyed reading it! Thank you for baring with me through this!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N – This story was… supposed to turn out a lot darker than it actually did. It was also supposed to be a oneshot. *huffs* I changed that plan, had different ideas that I had to incorporate and this is what I came up with.
> 
> So tell me what you think. Harry is a little… strange. He didn't know who Lucifer was because he doesn't follow any religion and no one taught him Christianity. So, he didn't know who Lucifer was. He only knows of religions if he has met their deities. He's met a couple. Lol. Death is in every religion after all.


End file.
